Do You like my poem? I need opinions...

by: UrWorldDeformed

Ok, this is something I wrote... It means a lot to me. It's continued through the questions...


If you took my hand tonight,
Would you see I'm not alright?
Would you see the hand you hold,
Is the key to my pain, the stories untold?

This is the hand that grasped my throat,
Trying to silence a sad, mournful note.
This is the hand that gripped the blade,
That created a scar, never to fade.

  1. 1

    If you held me close today, Would you see I'm not okay? The heart you feel inside my chest, Is broken to pieces, pain never to rest

  2. 2

    This is the heart that's ripped to shreds, That hold all my fears, that echoes my dreads. This is the heart that's filled with pain, Making me ache in every vein.

  3. 3

    If our mouths were to entwine, Would you see that I'm not fine? Would you know these lips you kiss, Could drag you along to my wicked abyss?

  4. 4

    This is the tongue that's spoken the words, I'd like to forget I've ever heard. This is the mouth that's screamed from the ache, A pain that no one should have to take.

  5. 5

    If you looked into my eyes, Would you see through my guarding lies? Could you sense my grief, my fear, That drowns my soul, though I don't shed a tear?

  6. 6

    These are the eyes that've witnessed the things, That harshly ripped of my innocent wings. These are the eyes that flinched at the sight, Of my face in the mirror after a sleepless night.

  7. 7

    If you glanced at your reflection, Could you see your true perfection? Beauty galore, inside and out, Making me believe without a doubt...

  8. 8

    Those are the hands that caressed my scars, As your heart mended mine, breaking me from iron bars. Your lips formed a smile that's clutching my soul, And your eyes lock to mine, and at last I am whole

  9. 9

    It's over... what did you think?

  10. 10

    Message me? (Esp if you have questions about my motives for this poem)

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