I remember ~Original Story~
He refuses to get help, but heâ€™s been better. He hasnâ€™t threatened suicide, he hasnâ€™t hit me or anyone else, he hasnâ€™t yelled at us or gone on rampages. But I still live with the after effects. I still live with him and the reminder of everything heâ€™s done.
I wanted to share what has happened and hopefully help someone else. Don't worry, I am absolutely safe :)
When my roommate as music camp pulled down the blinds I panicked. I remember my dad yelling at me telling me Iâ€™ll break the blinds, theyâ€™ll get wrinkled, theyâ€™ll be ruined.
When I take my sleeping pill at night I remember my dad saying he wished he took an entire bottle of sleeping pills so he wouldnâ€™t have to wake up to a family that hates him.
When someone gets upset with me I cry and feel sick. I remember my dad yelling, saying heâ€™ll leave the family, saying heâ€™ll kill himself, saying he hates us.
I remember driving to the state fair and him saying heâ€™ll crash the car and kill us both.
I remember not wanting to leave the house with him in it alone in fear heâ€™d kill the animals.
I remember him slapping me across my face when I was 6 because I was upset when he beat me in a game.
I remember always letting him win because then heâ€™d me upset with me.
I remember him saying my sister is tearing our family apart because she didnâ€™t want to go on the same vacation we always go to.
I remember him yelling at me saying Iâ€™ll ruin vacation because my heart was having problems.
I live with the fact that if I show any emotion other than happy heâ€™ll be mad. I live with the guilt of spending money. I live with hating every accomplishment Iâ€™ve made because it takes attention away from him and heâ€™ll be upset. I live with the fear heâ€™s mad and hates me if he doesnâ€™t text me back quickly because he loves to give us the silent treatment if we upset him. I live with feeling scared when someone walks behind me because he had hit me on my head when I didnâ€™t want to go on the boat. I live while hating my birthday. I live with anxiety if I ask someone to do what I want to do because heâ€™d yell at me and say I donâ€™t love him if I donâ€™t do what he wants to.
I live with him.
And I lived thinking it was normal.