On One Hand I Want You To Read This, On The Other Hand I Don't

Chapter 1

On One Hand I Want You To Read This, On The Other Hand I Don't

I figured I need to say this sometime
And I guess that time is now

Without you my breathing is difficult
It comes in short little huffs and puffs
And sometimes I don't know if it's happening or not
But half the time you're not here
And for some reason
Even with my breathing complicated
I kind of prefer it that way
Because you make me want to cry and to laugh at the same time
And I never want you to leave but you do and then you come back
And it's like you're a hurricane and you're picking me up as you go and you drop me and pick me up again
I can't escape you and sometimes I don't want to
Because you put the air in my lungs
And you put flowers in my hair
And a smile on my face
But you're like a hawk, a beautiful hawk
Tearing me to pieces
And I love you, oh I love you so much
But you are my drug
And they told me to say no to those
So I no longer know how to feel about you
Other than that loving you is like setting myself on fire
But it's also like relief from drowning
I can breathe
I can breathe
I can't breathe
You are the path that I take to destruction
And it's lined with flowers and butterflies
So that it's a beautiful way of dying
And I don't know if you know what you're doing to me
But if you read this and you don't now you do
And I want you to know that I wish I didn't love you sometimes
But others it feels like the greatest thing to happen to me
And I miss you even as we speak.

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