Brothers on a Hotel Bed
Take this story as true because it is for some. Respect the fact that it can trigger and challenge yourself to walk away if it'll take you back to the darkness that you never deserved. Defy the warning and stay but do not tell me that there was no warning because I am a girl who has been there and I would never try to harm you.
Stay strong and respect all,
He grabs the edge of the sink with shaky palms that betray the composure he has set for himself. He is pretending and it drives him insane but he will not crack. There is an eerie silence as he reaches for the blade, an act of self-detriment that he cannot stand but will not stop.
It comes in with relief and washes away with the sting of red that drips rhythmically into the sink. Slow and calming in the scariest sense but he doesn't know how to stop it.
So he doesn't.
He lets the red drip into the sink and watches it slowly fall into the drain and finds himself pretending that it could represent his worries. As foolish as it is, it helps.
So he smiles.
Twisted and sick but it's still a smile all-together and he hopes he can change it someday. But that day isn't today. He doesn't know when it will be. He breathes in and lets it out as a strangled sob that no one will he. If they haven't heard before, then they won't hear now.
So he falls apart.
He's tired of pretending and he's tired of watching red and he's tired of being sad but it won't stop him from doing any of those things because of the darkness that fills him and keeps him from caring. It's sick and it's disturbing but he won't stop it because, in a sense, it feels so right. But he does what's wrong because it feels right. And doing something that feels right is better than it being right.
So he does it anyway.
And it doesn't surprise him when he lifts his head to see a mangled expression of a man that used to be great but has somehow deteriorated into a state of helplessness. It's consuming and it all hurts but he can't stop it and he wants it to stop.
So he lets it go and cuts a little deeper.
And it stops.
A/N: Call it a cliche ending but it's on a topic that needs to be addressed. This wasn't made as a joke, nor was it made to offend. And if it comes off as either of those things please let me know in a mature way so I may handle it in a mature way.
Now to the point. People don't give mental health enough attention. And for it to go unnoticed to the point that it becomes something cool is not good. By idolizing mental disabilities (whether it be depression, an eating disorder--pro ana and pro bul--or a learning disability) you leave those who really have one confused on how to ask for help. You leave them feeling it's good to feel that way. And it's not.
The boy in this story is helpless and confused so he doesn't ask for help. Please don't become this boy. Please, if you feel this way, ask for help. Tell a friend. Tell an adult--maybe not a parent but a teacher, cool aunt, or someone--who can help.
Please, for those who love and care for you, don't let thoughts like that consume you. It's not weak to ask for help. It's a sign of strength.
Be strong. Don't be afraid to get better.