I've recently broken up with my boyfriend, the guy who was my best friend long before we dated. I wrote this note a couple of days after, as the anger has now hit me. No worries, I am getting better, but I thought it might be a good idea to start a group story of others who have gone through a break up. If you want to write on here, say so in the comments. Just add the day you broke up, and the phrase "I will get through this, I am not alone. Thank you for the memories, I am a better person."
April 30th, 2014
Three months of my life was dedicated to us, to you. I completely and utterly fell for you. How could I not? You were my best friend first; you know my deepest hells and not once did you pity me or turn away in disgust.
And I'm pretty damn broken.
So yeah, I fell for the way you accepted me, even when I didn't want a relationship at first. However, you changed my mind without even realizing it. I was so damn attracted to everything about you and how I was with you.
Not once did I ever pretend to be anyone else. We had the dumbest conversations and I loved every single one. I'll admit, I still remember the first time I talked with you. You told me I had the most incredible eyes and that we were going to get married and ride off into the sunset on a giraffe. I knew you were kidding, but I still remember it and it was the first time I thought that I wanted to get to know someone who was so funny.
You made me laugh and I loved that. For once I didn't feel like I had to fake being happy. No, I don't need someone to be happy, but you definitely made it easier.
Remember when you said you'd always have my back and I promised that I'd never stop having yours? What happens to that know? I can barely look at you; it hurts that bad. You're constantly lingering in my thoughts and I'm trying to piece together where it all went wrong. This just hurts so much more than any other event I've been through, because you truly knew me, and I've lost the one person in the world who promised to stand by my side forever.
I want to remain best friends but I'm trying to move on, because that's what's best, right?
I wasn't scared to think of the future with you, and that was a first for me. I have commitment issues, I'll admit that. I'm so damn scared of losing those I love that I fail to see when everything is falling apart.I'm scared to get attached, because eventually everyone leaves and I refuse to let people get that close now.
You are so social and kind with everyone, and I wish I could be like that. You seemed to make up for everything I lacked. Now I'm asking myself how I move on from this. The only person I really want to talk to is you, but I'm grieving the loss of us. Of everything we could have been. Should have been. I wish I could turn back time and prevented this, because I know I could have.
I'm just sad and it's a sadness I can feel in my chest. I know it's something that's going to take time to get over. but it doesn't make it any easier. I'm truly not even sure if I can get over you. You're always hold a special place in my heart, forever and always.
"I will get through this, I am not alone. Thank you for the memories, I am a better person."