Chapter 1


this drought will end,
i promise you.
i know that you want to be in love,
i know that you want to feel the kind of infatuation that makes your lungs feel like
somebody is stirring silver through them,
and i know that you want to be kissed like your mouth is the water
when his mouth is on fire,
and maybe you will.
but darling,
stop trying to fall in love with people for the sake of being in love.
don't fall in love with people,
fall in love with the way your palms crease when you hold your own hand,
fall in love with the way your fingernails dig into your own spine when you wrap your arms around yourself,
fall in love with how the air surrounding your ribcage freezes when it feels your heart breaking,
fall in love with how silence surrounds you when your spirit shatters because it doesn't want to interrupt anything so important.
i know that everyone says "no one can love you until you love yourself first,"
and i agree that that notion is complete and utter bullshit,
but how can you hope to be somebody's when you won't let yourself be somebody first?
i know that it is hard,
believe me, i've been there.
but when your arms feel like they're dragging an ocean along with them,
and your ribcage is bursting to the point where you can't contain it within your skin,
and there is no one there beside you to pull you back together,
wrap your arms around yourself.
trap the oceans which you drag inside your ribcage,
bury it all back within your skin,
and i promise you, some day someone will come along that you can bury all of that inside of instead of yourself.


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