Better Left Unsaid (Perks of Being a Wallflower)

Hah wow none of you probably remember because I haven't been on here in such a gosh darn long time! If you do or just clicked on this because you want a Perks fanfic, I have that for you, but just thank you for wasting your time on me!

Chapter 1


by: __adeline
Dear Brad,
You’ve been on my mind quite a lot lately, since its winter break and all, and I’ve had a lot of time to myself. University of Washington is great, by the way. Although, it gets drastically cold here, so I’ve been collecting (hoarding, if you will) a ton of scarves and berets that I surprisingly don’t look half bad in. you probably wouldn’t like them, though, tough guy.
How have you been holding up, Brad? I’m happy here. I really hope you’re fine, too. I haven’t found anyone since what happened between us, to put it bluntly, which is fine, I’m in no rush. But, there is this one gentleman in my theater class, who I’ve taken a liking to. His beautiful face is caressed with light brown, practically unnoticeable freckles. His large green eyes are probably the most gorgeous I have ever seen. They’re so prominent; they take away from most of his face, which is a shame. I’m always making excuses to spend time with him. Oh, his name is Cameron, by the way. He’s a junior, and ever since day one, he’s been helping me out and giving advice. I swear he’s the nicest person. I finally built up the courage to ask him to a movie, and we went not too many nights ago, but I couldn’t focus on the film because he was cracking jokes the whole time, and I think we got complained about, because a security guard and the manager of the theater came in and booted us out. It was all fine with me, though. I got to learn more about his life back at home, like he’s very close to his little sister, who is very close to turning thirteen years old. From her most recent letter, I was told, she is currently going through a major identity crisis and hates the world and everyone else in it who isn’t Cameron. She is stubborn and never wants to hear anyone disagree with her, so he will not tell her she’s just going through a stage. But, like the good brother he is, he simply told her she will find herself very, very soon.
Just a few days after sending his letter out, just a few days later he received one from his parents, who told him his sibling was throwing tantrums that were ten times worse than when she was an infant. He is going home for the holiday. As I was listening to him, it got me thinking I only got three letters the whole time I was here. One from Sam, and two from Charlie. Maybe I’ll go back home for Christmas and New Years as well.
I just realized you might’ve been thinking I was telling you about Cameron and I’s hot date (I’m just kidding, he could be straight) to make you jealous. I would never do that, you know I’m not that kind of person. I just feel like no one gets how I feel. I told Sam about Cameron, she sounded excited, but I don’t think she exactly got it, being a girl and all. And it’s really no use telling Charlie, the kid’s already got too much on his mind.
I know we’re not on the best terms right now, and I don’t want to repair our romantic relationship, but hopefully we could work on patching up our friendship. Because I miss you, Brad. Please know that I still love you, and I’m hopelessly confused, because after what you did to me, and how worthless you made me feel, I’m not sure how long it’ll take for me to forgive you, or if I ever will forgive you at all.
That’s another reason I’ll be visiting home (I’ve just decided right now.) I want to rebuild our relationship; hopefully you don’t hate me. But I do like to think, during the time you were my boyfriend, you were happy, and cared and loved me just as much as I did for you. Were you just afraid, Brad? Frightened about what your ego would turn into if everyone knew the real you?
We were never right for each other. I realized that recently after we had broken up. How we ended up together was totally accidental, if we were to have kids, I wouldn’t want to tell them we ended up together because we were drunk. Although I do believe it was meant to happen. That night we both discovered a very large piece of who we are, even though it came as such a surprise. No one suspected it or saw it coming – not even us! But that is life’s obstacles, and all we can do is accept it when there’s no way around it whatsoever.
You can’t change who you are, Brad. And I’ve known that for a long time, but I wasn’t sure if you were aware. And as much as you don’t like it, you, like I said, just have to adopt the idea. If you don’t accept yourself, no one will, and to me that hurts more than anything. Don’t change yourself, because if others can’t stand by you when you’re being yourself, won’t be there in the end, when you really need someone.
I think I’ve written everything that I’ve had to say, and still left things to talk about in person. Thank you for reading the whole letter. Please remember I’ll always be here if you need someone to talk to. I guarantee you this bum is always here for you. Always.
Give my house a call sometime after Christmas. I’d love to hear from you. And don’t hesitate to write back.

Love always,
~ ~ ~
The curious man grumbled in disgust. Huh. Not good riddance, as he had thought.
Not yet, at least.
He ripped the envelope open and skimmed through the heartfelt letter.
Idiotic. Dishonoring. How could his son have anything to do with this fool? He blames himself. It’s all his fault his son – his own flesh and blood – could be one of… those. ‘Can’t be changed.’ ‘People who really love you.’ What does a stupid kid know about life, anyway? How old is he, fifteen? Of course Brad could be normal again, all he needs is time. This is not an obstacle. This idiotic child just forced his son into his world, and poor Brad was just so gullible he caved into it. It was just peer pressure in the act. That will never happen again. His son is too good for those other boys that are… infected.
Brad’s father tore the letter in half
~ ~ ~
Christmas day was perfect. There was no snow, but rain. The ground was covered with slush and ice. The heat broke down in Patrick’s car. His beret was swept away from his curly hair and taken by the wind. But he couldn’t be happier. He was on his way home for the first time since he left for college
When he saw all of his loved ones he was so unsustainably elated. He embraced everyone with all his might. He didn’t realize how badly he needed that moment until it was happening. People like this are the kind of people Brad needs in his life. He hopes Brad got the letter.

Two days after all the Christmas excitement was calming, Patrick decided to call Brad up and invite him to lunch, a new restaurant near their old high school. No one picked up but the answering machine, so he left a message.

He stopped waiting two and a half hours later.


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