The Grammar Witch and the Candor Take on "Unpredicted"
This isnâ€™t the worst fanfic, as far as fanfics go but we still think itâ€™s pretty bad. (Pretty bad? That's generous. I was gonna call it awful.) Well compared to â€œMy Immortalâ€, â€œLovestruckâ€, and that Eragon one itâ€™s literary genius. (True.)
As always Jackie is in the () and I am without them.
Chapter 1: Refused before, now accepted
and once again, I don't own anything connected to the PJO series. (^_^)
"Percy!" I turned around and saw a certain kid wearing all black running towards me. Why couldnâ€™t you say Nico? (Because using unnecessary description in place of a proper name is so much more fun!)
"Hey, Nico. What's the matter?" I asked.
"Chiron wants to speak with you at the Big house." (Itâ€™s a big, big house, with lots and lots of room. A big, big table, with lots and lots of food. A big, big yard-- well, I would continue but weâ€™re not in Sunday School.)
After he said it, I felt like my heart was no longer beating. (So you felt dead?) There is actually a pyschological disorder where you think you are dead-- Cotard Delusion itâ€™s called. (Well, thatâ€™s creepy.)
Chiron only calls me to the big house if something bad is or is about to happen. What could it be this time? Some god wants you dead Percy, if you donâ€™t realize that you are really thick.
I quickly made my way to the big house with a million things running in my mind. I was getting more worried with every step I took.
I burst open the door only to find Chiron playing leisurely with invisible people. Fosterâ€™s Home For Imaginary Friends! He slowly looked up from his cards to look at me.
"Percy, my boy, is something the matter?" he asked me casually
"You called for me?"
"Ah yes, but no worries, there is no danger," and for the first time that time I was able to breath.
I asked him why he called me here. Then he suddenly placed his serious face on. (Is his serious face a mask? If you answered â€œnoâ€, then he should not be placing it on.)
"The gods wish to have an audience with you. Now. At Olympus." Suuurrree, no danger in that, right?
I was shocked. "About what?" Well maybe somebody stole some gods object of power again trying to start a war. History does repeat itself.
He shrugged. Obviously, he didn't know the answer, too. "But if I were you, I'd waste no time and go there right now before something bad does happen." (No worries, no danger, we just want you to rush to Olympus because something bad might happen and you need to save the day. No pressure or anything. Now, scat.)
I made my way as fast as I could to the Empire State Building. I reached for the elevator and waited. When the elevator finally opened, Olympus was looking the same as always. Lovely, no conflict there Then I made my way to the throne room.
The moment I entered, all the gods and goddesses looked at me.
"Perseus Jackson," Zeus boomed in the room. (Come on down, youâ€™re the next contestant on the Price is Right!)
I carefully walked across the room and made my way in the middle. Once there, I bowed. He gestured for me to rise, and so I did.
"Perseus Jackson, we will go straight to the point as for why you are here. All of us here have noticed that you have been getting stronger and stronger everyday. And we cannot hide the fact that all of us are impressed and at the same time afraid of it. â€“" HAHAHAHA! LIKE ANY GOD WOULD ADMIT THAT! HAHAHAHAHA! (Canâ€™t breathe, canâ€™t breathe! This is hilarious!)
"Afraid?" I interrupted.
"Yes, my son, afraid." Father answered, "With your power, you can or almost defeat one of us here. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (My sides!) Thus you can be a big liability to Olympus if you turn over to the other side. Thus to prevent such, we had all agreed to do this."
After father had said it, I still didn't understand. That is until Zeus said "Perseus, once again, we offer you immortality â€“ godhood."
I was shocked. I couldn't move.
"Do you accept the offer, Perseus?" asked Hera (Deal or no Deal?)
I still haven't thought about it yet. But I so wanted to say yes even during the first time they offered it to me. But the only difference now is that there is nothing or no one holding me back.
I don't have to say no to be with someone anymore, and to make that someone happy. And so with that, I had made up my mind.
"I accept. I accept your offer." I said confidently.
I looked around and saw that everyone was smiling happily at me â€“ well, except for Ares who was smiling deviously, he's obviously thinking about how to torture me for all eternity. (Can you? I don't like this Percy. At all.)
"Very well." Zeus said. He then started mumbling Greek words that were too fast for me to understand and without warning he zapped me with his master bolt. (Oh so he killed you?)
I couldn't feel anything except for the electric current that was running through my veins. Then the next thing I know, I was down on the floor looking at the ceiling so high above.
Once I regained my focus, I slowly stood up and faced the gods again.
"I apologize for the sudden shock." (Oh great, Zeus is making puns. This is worse than Apollo poetry.) I actually liked thatâ€¦ Zeus said not sounding so sorry. "We have decided that you shall be made your father's lieutenant, sharing the same powers and domain. However, you shall be made the god of Heroes, and waves. You shall have your own palace here on Olympus, designed by our architect, of course." He paused then continued "Are there any more concerns?" (Yes! Yes! I have a concern. Percy is acting out of character, the gods arenâ€™t being prideful or arrogant in the least, Percy didnâ€™t get killed, the gods are making puns, must I continue?)
Nobody seemed to have any questions, and the meeting was adjourned.
Everyone then congratulated me before leaving for personal businesses, including my dad. (I wonder if Hallmark has â€œCongratulations on godhoodâ€ greetings? You would think some of these gods would be too busy to congratulate Percy in person and would just have a secretary send him an Iris-message or something.)
They all left me to tour around Olympus on my own. On my way out of the room, Lady Athena came up to me.
"Perseus," she greeted Isnâ€™t it usually a bad thing when that name is used?
"Lady Athena, here to congratulate me, too?" I greeted back
"That is not my purpose, although I do congratulate you."
"What do you need then, Lady Athena?"
"First off, you may no longer call me "Lady", we have the same rank now. Who here thinks that Athena would never say that? If you raised your hand, good you are smart. And my main purpose, I you to know that I'm sorry, for the first time in ages, I was wrong. Who here thinks Athena would never admit she was wrong? If you raised your hand, good you are smart. I thought you would be the one to break my daughter's heart, but it was the other way around." She explained.
"It's okay, La- I mean, Athena. I've moved on. Besides, it's been a long time since then."
And with that, she smiled and nodded then vanished. (Lady Athena can apparate?) Why do bad fanfictions always bring in other fandoms?! (Itâ€™s one of their identifying characteristics so people can spot the signs and run far far away.) We need to write a manual on this. (Or at least have a rhyme for it, like the coral snake one.) Whatâ€™s the coral snake one? (â€œRed touches black, friend to Jack. Red touches yellow, kill a fellow.â€ Here, I got one for fanfics: â€œRealistic fic, good pick. Has Mary-Sues, youâ€™re screwed.â€) Emily approves. (And now, dear readers, you are protected from two of this worldâ€™s gravest evils: coral snakes and terrible fanfiction.)
Looks like I could get used to being a god easier than I thought it'd be.
So, what do you people think?
please review. Comments and suggestions are highly appreciated. Oh you asked for it.
thanks in advance!
Always, kheilynn, D.N.