If He's Gone

Chapter 1

If He's Gone

I've always believed that you cannot know love without hatred
How can you create when you have not destroyed?
How can you give life without having taken it away?
I always assumed it was possible to do both to the same thing at once
But I always assumed that the thing would stay the same.

I am not the same.

I am not the same.

You have destroyed me and built me up
You have created me and killed me
You have loved me and hated me
You have stayed and you have left.

You were twisting and turning me and changing me
Making me better
Yet making me worse
And I needed you to continue so that one would have no way to win
So that the light you gave me could hold the dark at bay
So that the euphoria would distract from the pain
But somewhere along the line a crack appeared in me
It leaked the poison you put in
I didn't mean to let you leave
I didn't mean to destroy you.
I never meant to kill you.
But I need you here
And you promised you wouldn't go
Where are you now?
Where's your armor and sword and shiny white horse?
Where are your kind words and harsh phrases?
Where are your sculpting tools and clay
To form me into something great?
And why
Oh why
Why did I ever let you die?

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