What Lies in My Past

Sorry that the title sucks. I'll change it later(hopefully). Please both comment and rate, for i do not know whether or not i am going to continue. Whether or not i do will be based on comments and ratings. I'm not very experienced in story writing, so i would love your critic.(Just don't be rude about it). If you don't feel like leaving a real comment, then please don't comment at all. Please do still rate, though!

Chapter 2

A Broken Heart

Resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die, or so I’ve heard.

It doesn’t go away when the other person does die, though. Dead or alive, how could I forgive a murderer? I didn’t exaggerate when I had said that he was my life. He was. So he took my life away when he died.

As I stared at my ceiling, I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry my heart out. I wanted to measure my love for him in tears. However, I didn’t cry. I just stared blankly at the texture on the ceiling. My heart was shattered, therefor, could not bleed. When most people claim to have had their hearts broken, they cry so many tears. But there heart being broken isn’t the problem, it’s their heart still working. Still loving them with everything that they are. Most people will never know what a broken heart feels like.

* * *

I remember reading old books and imagining Jason and I in the settings. The books were written during a time when snow covered the ground during the winter, and at night, you could actually see stars! I’d always wondered what they looked like from the night sky. I would imagine Jason and I sitting under the stars. Stars were a fantasy, but I never imagined Jason feeling like one.

I missed him, but just not the way that I wanted to. Somehow, I couldn’t get him out of my mind on that day when I walked down the street and the overcast sky covered me. It was very warm, but normal for Summer. I was headed toward the library. I needed to occupy myself as much as possible.

Denial. That’s what my mother called it. She said that I was trying to run away from my problems. I tried telling her that she had never had her heart broken before, but she begged to differ. I looked up the marble staircase before turning around.

* * *

“A broken heart. I finally understand. You made me understand. But it’s because of that that I may never be able to move on,” I said. I knew that it was just a stone, but I needed something. It was somehow a symbol of him, and I used it that way.

* * *

I cried hysterically. “Please, don’t leave me. I need you. You may not understand, but I really do need you in my life,” I said.

My body was pressed against his. He held me tightly as I closed my eyes. “Shhh. It’s going to be alright. Just promise me that you’ll find someone new.”

* * *

“You know that it was too much for you to ask of me. You know that I won’t be able to move on. You must’ve known that. I’m not saying that you didn’t care….I don’t even know what I’m saying. I love you. I never would’ve have left you. I never would’ve left you with this pain,” I said. I began crying, but not the way that I cried before he left. It wasn’t with nearly the same intensity. They were just a few, bitter tears. “I never would’ve left you,” I whispered quietly. My whisper was washed away by the light rain. “I never would’ve done that to you."

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