Equidistant Book 1: When all is lost

Equidistant Book 1: When all is lost

Since the age of 3, seventeen year old Caroline Fisher thought that her whole family had died in fire while she was at daycare. But she soon finds out with the help of her new friend Derek that the fire that killed her family might not have been an accident after all.

Inspired by the Mortal Instruments Series by Cassandra Clare.

Chapter 1

When all is normal

Sometimes I wish I had a real family. A mom, dad, sister and brother. Someone to tuck me in at night and take me to school, though I might be to old for that. Someone to protect me and love me with all their heart. Someone to tell me not to do drugs or drink or hang with the wrong crowd. Or simply just someone to be there when I get home from school; but I don't even have that.

All I have is an aunt and uncle who couldn't care less about me. They feed me and give me a place to sleep, but that's about it. They don't love me, they only take care of me because they are the only family I have left, and they thought that it would be inhumane of them to leave a three year old girl on the streets with no place to stay.

Sometimes I wonder what makes us "humane" or not. Sometimes I think it is loving, caring about other people. But love can also be a weakness. You can destroy people by loving, and be destroyed by being loved, as I was when my family died. When I think about all the qualities of humanity, there is not one that does not have a weakness. Maybe weakness is what makes us "humane".

Hi, I'm Caroline, my family is dead. They've been dead since I was three. As I said before the people that I stay with, my aunt and uncle aren't really family to me. The only person in the world that I can confide in, talk to and feel good around is my best friend Julian. Julian is like me. He likes music. I like music. Music is pretty much what ties us together. Now don't get the wrong idea, Julian and I are just friends, but we are really close. He is the only person that I remember being that close with. We would spend entire Friday nights listening to music and making remixes of popular songs, that is when I don't have the migraines.

I should probably explain that, the migraines. Ever since I was three I've been getting uncontrollable migraines that every doctor I've ever been to has failed to understand. They're not like normal migraines; they aren't the normal head pounding pain that you would usually associate with migraines. They feel more as if someone is trying to pull your brain out of you head, trying to extract all of your memories and knowledge from your mind or as if there was a string attached to the back of your head, and someone was constantly pulling it, trying to pull you somewhere.

Oh, and then there are the dreams. Since my family died I've been getting short indecipherable nightmares. They come in bits and pieces, small flashes of images that I can barely make out. The longest one has ever been was about four seconds. They are just flashing images, and the only one I remember is of a group of black hooded figures setting fire to a house. I'd wake up screaming in the middle of the night my body drenched in sweat, panting like I just ran a marathon. They are the reason why I dread going to sleep every night.

But here I am still alive and well no limbs or organs missing, sitting through Mrs.Jenner's boring history lectures.
"Miss.Fisher? MISS.FISHER! Can you repeat what I just said?" Mrs.Jenner says.
"Miss.Fisher? MISS.FISHER! Can you repeat what I just said?" I mimic as innocently as I can. I should probably explain; I don't like Mrs.Jenner, or any other teachers at my school.
"No, what I said about George Washington." she says without even flinching or showing the slightest bit of emotion.
"That he's on the one dollar bill?" I say
"Miss. Fisher Principle.Dominic's office now." she says, again without showing any sign of emotion. See Mrs.Jenner doesn't have any weaknesses, no matter what you say to her, and believe me I've said plenty to her, she doesn't seem hurt in any way. I guess Mrs.Jenner doesn't have a weakness, and I guess Mrs.Jenner isn't "humane".
"Gladly" I reply, and with that, I get up from my seat, nicely push my chair in, and walk to the principle's office.

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