Sigyn- My Fidelity

Chapter 1

Sigyn

As I reach for him, tears streaming down my face, he smiles.... Just once, then disappears. I whirl around frantically, grasping for the others. I sprint for them and they hold thier hands out, I feel the time around me slow as I grab their hand, I only see them give me a mournful look as they too, disappear. At that moment I was enveloped by a darkness... A longing. So heavy and complete I didnt think I would ever smile again. Without them... my life has no meaning. Fidelity... Fidelity... How can there be fidelity without someone to love, to show love to? I sink to my knees, staring blankly into that utter darkness... Nothing. No sound, no sight, nothing. I feel a cold, bitter, metal floor, stained with my blood and tears. Suddenly light floods the area. Glass walls all around me. I hear my breath hitch, and my heart skip a beat as I see 9 walls, and the people trapped inside them. Its my loves. How did they get in there? It doesnt matter... As long as I can see them. I crawl to the walls, kicking, hitting, trying to break the barrier between us. They look at me... with those eyes, blue, green, red, and gold. The stare pierces my soul to the core. Such emotion, so much feeling. They couldnt be my imagination... they just couldnt. My fingers bleed as I scratch at the glass wall, my beloveds lay against the wall, knowing its useless, all of them begging me to stop, that Im hurting myself. I keep trying, keep trying, I cant give up... Im so exhausted though. I finally fall back onto the floor, surrounded by those clear prison walls. I can see them, but never touch them. I wonder if they can hear me... I hope not, otherwise... they might cry for me. I curl into a ball, holding my knees to my chest, and scream. A sad, horrible, ungodly scream, filled with my loneliness and horror. Im living in my worst nightmare. Dying each day we are separated. Is this how I have to live? Forever? If I were to give up, and leave them, I can smile again, find happiness. But as I look into their hansome faces, and they look into mine, I realize I cant EVER leave. Ill be trapped here as long I love them. Its my fate. If I dont love them, who will be there to wipe away the tears, comfort, love them? They are only men after all, they have souls,, they would be all alone in a cruel, unforgiving world of my own design. Fidelity... is what I am. And these lovers are parts of my soul. If I free myself of this burden, I will be living a beautiful lie. My face contorts as I curse the day I was born. The day I created this world, with all this horror and chaos. How can I love them? We are all so different... but yet I find myself fatally attracted to them. But no... I will not complain, not show weakness, Im done feeling sorry for myself! I will carry this world on my shoulders, do whatever it takes for them, I dug the grave now I have to lay in it... I chose this for them. No doubt, the reward is worth the punishment. But.. even if I could just hold their hands one more time, I would have the strength to live another eternity. That will never happen though... I know this. And I cherish the memories we had before this incident. Right now, my memories are all I have. I must not lose my heart, because thats where they are held. I rise to my feet and lay next to the walls, watching them, dried tears caked around eyes and cheeks. This is something only I can handle, they demand my affection, and loyalty, and empathy, only I can understand what they have been though, and with as much sins as they have committed, surely my hope and love is the only thing keeping them from going totally insane. I am their sanctuary, a Northern Star. Others would crumble at seeing their power, they cant see that their just misunderstood. I sigh deeply, my voice breaking as they watch me sadly.

I wont leave, I whisper. Not ever. I love you all too much my dears...

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