Depressed to the Core

My life is like an endless book
That no one wants to read
That no one even opens
I feel alone
And different
Everyday I ask myself
'Why am I still here? Can't it just end?'
But everyday I try to sleep the pain away
I don't have anyone; no one to actually put a smile on my face
No matter the hurt and pain of each natural day
It's nothing new, yet I still feel like I'm in a crowded circus in the middle of the ocean
Walking on a string that I feel like it's going to break or I'll lose my balance and place some time
But, no one sees that, they see a girl who always smiles and tries hard to be nice
Not realizing how broken she is deep down
They don't know the smile is just 'sugar-coated'
It's not real sweet
I'm nice to people, not because I have to
It's because I want to
I don't want anyone to feel the way I did
But even through that, I still got used
Treated like crap
They don't realize how much it hurts
How much it could affect a person
The struggle of feeling less than important
Not wanted-
Not cared about-
They expect me not to break
But there's no promise that I won't
I'm on the edge, with no one around
When no one wants to hear you
No one wants to see you
So desperate & Pathetic
So sick of myself too
My life is like an endless book
That no one wants to read
That no one even opens
Not even me...