Pick yourself up.

Chapter 1

Everything's done.

by: Needles
How can i keep holding on. I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. My eyes teared up. Remembering hurts,Seeing those flash backs always bring back a twinge of pain. I closed my eyes wishing they were here. Then i fell asleep.
My Eye's opened to sunlight shining in them. I sat up and pat my dog,Elan. I threw on a plain black shirt and some skinny jeans. I ran a brush through my hair once and grabbed my bag. I sped walked down the stairs to a smiling grandmother. "Have a good first day of school josh" I smiled. My grandmother's dieing she can barely remember me, let alone my mother and my grandpa. He's taking it pretty hard, he sit's in his study all day. I live with my grandparents because i never knew my dad and my mother died on her way home from the store when i was twelve. I'm now sixteen and yes it is my first day of school. I've always been home schooled. So this is all new to me. Ever since my mother's death nothings gotten better,sadly. I had a girlfriend who i thought would be by my side forever. She had a beautiful smile and her giggle was the cutest. Her curly blonde hair was always in her eyes and she loved animals. We would go to animal shelters. She started looking paler each day so she went to the doctor. They said she had cancer. She always told me she was getting better but she looked worse everyday. Her blonde curly hair was gone from the treatment and that beautiful smile of her's was barely seen. One day we sat underneath a huge tree on top of a hill. Watching the sunset together was something special to me. I held her hand oh so tightly and looked straight into her eyes. "I love you so much and i wish i could cure you. I wish i could make you happier." She smiled. "You make me happy. I think i'm the happiest when i'm with you Josh. I love you too and that will never change." I could feel the tears want to come. But i didn't want to break down in front of her so i struggled to keep them in. "Come with me! We could run away! I could get a job to get better treatment for you. We could some day have a family and that house you always wanted. Once your all better we could run our own animal shelter. I could hold you every night while you sleep, being constantly reminded about how much i love you.." I stopped when i saw her smile with tears run down her pale cheeks. "You know that can't happen.." I stood up "Why not?! We could do it" I smiled confidently. "Josh.. i talked to the doctor the other day.." I sat back down and smiled. "Your getting better right?" She looked me in the eyes and cried a bit harder while squeezing my hand. "No.. I have 3 month's left." My world split in half. Those 3 month's were treasured. I tried to do everything she every wanted. The last night she had, she had no choice but to be in the hospital. I held her so closely knowing this would be our last moments. We talked and i told her how much i loved her until her last breathe. I held her and cried for a whole hour. I prayed and she never got better. I should have worked harder to get her better treatment. About a month after i became suicidal. I was constantly kept an eye on. Now though i'm a bit better and i'm even going to school. I'm still trying to hold on. Everyday it becomes a little harder though. It feels like i'm slipping slowly.


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