What She Feels Is Hidden From You
May or may not be my story.
"She acts like summer and walks like rain"
She cries herself to sleep at night, silently so she won't be heard. She tries so hard but she's just not good enough. She's NEVER good enough. Her "friends" treat her as if she is invisible. Only a few brings a real smile to her face but they are far away. She's left alone with her thoughts to kill her. To you she may seem like the shy girl who smiles a lot, but in reality she is socially awkward, alone and unhappy. She beats herself over everything that's gone wrong. She blames herself for pushing people away, thinking they'll leave her like everyone else has. She sits there, wondering if she was pretty, skinny or somehow special, people will start treating her better. All she wants is for someone to be there for her and not leave her or make her their second option. She wants to be someone who is loved. She wants to stop everything for a moment and be happy for once. But she can't do that. So she does something else. She fakes her smiles. She acts like she is loved, like she's pretty, skinny and special. She acts like she's happy. Because maybe, just maybe, one day she won't have to pretend.