Kissing You

Chapter 1

..........

i look for you in everyone.
because you were morning
in a world of midnights.
and you were the light
when all i knew was darkness.
and i was never altogether fond of my name,
until i found out how it tasted
when you sighed it into my mouth.
kissing you reminded me of when i was in montesorri
and our teacher showed us an experiment
with balloons and walls and woolen clothes
that sent shocks down to the tips of my toes
and made my hair stand on end.
kissing you was painfully slow and patient,
like cooking a turkey with matchsticks.
and i wouldn't have stopped cooking the turkey
for anything in the world.
you were the cold jolt that i got,
jumping off the cliffs into the freezing dark sea.
you were the early swim
on christmas morning.
and kissing you was like falling out of a twenty-two storey window
and exploding into a cloud of robins
and reappearing on the ground
with my mouth full of feathers.

losing you was awful
and torturous
and heart-wrenching.
and all of a sudden
my hair flattened again,
the turkey was frozen once more,
i was standing back on the cliff-top crying with the cold,
christmas morning was long gone,
and all my robins flew away.

and i know you really, really don't give a shít,
but that process is set to begin again.

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