Best Psych Quotes!

The best quotes from the TV show Psych, starring James Roday and Dulé Hill. I haven't seen very much of it, so obviously there will be some holes in my list. But I shall continue to watch, and I'll update as the situation requires.

Chapter 1

Epic Quotes (Roughly In Order of Appearance)

To tell you the truth, Spencer, sometimes I amaze myself.

Gus, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie.

Gus, don't be a rabid porcupine.

I never thought I would make this sound in my life, but...ewwww!

I feel like I've been incarcerated in a blueberry!

Gus, don't be a giant snapping turtle.

Don't look at me, Shawn. I'm just here for the cupcakes.

Well look who's onboard and looking like a whacked wombat!

...and by "we", I mean "mostly you".

Don't you dare argue physics with me! Not when we are in the process of being shot!

Stop analyzing my threat.

Do you need a hug?
Aw, what do I look like?! ...Ok, I'll take that hug.

You sicken me. I'm sickened.

Gus. You have the bearings of a wounded bumblebee.

Dude, I get how being blind works.

I wouldn't say "crazy". Maybe...an eccentric, who looks good in jeans.

No one comes to the races anymore.
Is it because of his shirt?

It's a genocide of color. Somewhere a rainbow is weeping.

A little girl outside started crying when she saw this shirt.

Just call somebody a hippie and get to the point.

These are really horrible. Why can't I stop eating them?

Please excuse my pseudo-colleague's presence.

Why didn't you just say so?
Cuz it's more fun to say kinkajou!

It's a bounty hunter.
What's that, a cop with a cooler name?

The answer is an enthusiastic and sprightly "yes".

Aww, that looks painful!

He wouldn't know a good deal if it bit him in the seat of his Han Solo action figure pants.

You better change your name to Lassiter, cuz I own you!

Sometimes I just forget to tone down my coolness.

Just call me the Suck-Stopper. ...Actually. Don't ever call me that.

I spent two hours picking out the shirt-tie-eyes combo!

Dad, you look sharp as a tack.

Good for you!
Exactly.

What are we doing? I can literally see the curvature of the earth from here.

Easy. It's the same as Val Kilmer's birthday.

Look! That rock is sprayed with arterial red!

You're not even holding your liver, that's your spleen.
Spleen?...Oh, ow, my spleen!

If I were a crime scene, where would I be? ...Here I am!

Fine. I don't need you and your misplaced prepositions!

It was a single shenanigan. Technically more of a highjink.

Detective Lassiter is literally on fire today.
"Literally on fire" as in Michael Jackson in the Pepsi commercial, or as in a misuse of the word "literally"?

Oh, sweet Justice, they made you a member?

Could you man up, Shawn? Is that even possible?

Gus, don't be William Zabka from "Back to School".

And all of a sudden, you're the arbiter of good taste?

...Am I dreaming?!
Nope. I just look this good.

I would like to invite you, in the nicest way possible, to shut it.

Gus, don't be an old sponge with hair hanging off of it.

Chief just gave me some weird advice.
What does she want?
Well, I can't be sure...but I think she wants me to find Lassiter a girlfriend.
...Good luck with that.

...That's all I've got. The jive's over. We should go now, before people explode.

Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua.

I have an idea. But we'll need cool names.

Spencer's right. ...Not words I enjoy saying.

I have an idea.
Is it good?
Not really.

What part of "stay put" is confusing to you?
The "put" part. I wasn't "put" in the first place, Gus. The entire expression is a complete disaster.

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