Oh look new friends wow hi there

Chapter 1


I gained a lot of new friends recently because I was featured member or something idk.

Hi guys.

I'm Jenni and you are whoever it is that you are, and it's nice to meet you. I figured I should tell you a little bit about myself, as we don't know each other (wow Jenni way to state the obvious ffs smh).

Okay so I'm Jenni. I also go by Jennifer, Jen, Jenny, Queen of the Underworld, and Beyonce.

I enjoy to reference Mean Girls, as every girl must. That's just, like, the rules of feminism.

I should probably warn you that I am approximately 3000% sassier than you.

I'm a Satanist who (gasp shock horror) doesn't believe in God. Or Satan. I don't worship Satan. Do your research.

If you are a hardcore-Jesus-peoplez, please don't hesitate to never talk to me ever.

I fucking hate everyone but at the same time you're all so fucking cute you're ruining my fucking life.

I get really passionate about things and then I curse a lot oops my bad.

If you ask me to stop cursing, my response will probably be "Oh shiit sorry" and I won't even realise that I've cursed again so please forgive me.

I really hate One Direction so if you're a fan of theirs it's probably in your best interest to not bring them up in a conversation with me.

I have a severe internet addiction.

I was half a virgin when I met you.

Emotionally unstable, but still cute.

I like some really fucking weird stuff, but don't judge me because I know that deep down, you'd like it too.

I have a girlfriend (yes wow a girl with a girlfriend shocker right).

I'm bi.

I have some serious trust issues so good luck getting me to actually open up to you, most likely I'll throw you some sass and be on my way.

All I love is pizza and like five people.

I would appreciate it if you didn't kill my vibe.

Here's a life tip: never get close to anybody ever because they will motherfucking rip your heart out at some point.

Green is not a creative colour.

So there you have it, all about me. Yes, I realise that I only told you like two things, but let's face it; you're not going to remember any of it anyway.


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