Goldifool and the Three Moronbears

In the story 'Goldifool and the Three Moronbears', you will discover how a dumb girl with messed up, hay-coloured curls stumbles upon a tiny little condo in the middle of a lake, and explores the cozy little building only to find three moronic bears sleeping on three different sized tables!

~Venture out of your regular story. Take a twist. Experience a whole new side to how stories are 'supposed to be'~

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Monsoon

Pitter patter. Pitter patter. Pitter patter.
'WHERE ART THOU YOU -' mother bear took great effort to control her oncoming word explosion.
'Mother! Mother!' yelled little bear, shooting down the stairs, wrapped in the flailing towel covered in jellybean print.
'Yes,' mother bear said through tightly clenched, gritted teeth, standing stiff with fists ready to act.
'It's raining! And you think Shakespeare's alive again!' little bear yelped.
CLING! BANG!
Little bear ran to the kitchen as the sound of clashing and falling pots and pans echoed through the building windows and bounced off the lake outside, only to bang into the bears' ears.
Upon entering the mustard yellow kitchen with a ceiling one metre above the ground, little bear stumbled over father bear. 'Yiksie!' little bear squealed.
With an unexpected fury, father bear shot up from his awkward, bent over position, and banged his head into the ceiling. He fell down with another loud CRASH onto the dented pots and pans underneath him. 'I THOUGHT I WAS THE BLIND ONE HERE!' he yelled.
'But father bear-' little bear was interrupted.
'NEVERMIND, YOU MORONS!' mother bear smacked father bear's head with a fortunate saucepan that hadn't smashed onto the ground.
'...now all our food-holding objects are ruined,' little bear whispered, as he stared, wide-eyed, at the now dented saucepan.
A blinding light suddenly flashed, lighting up the entire room. 'NO! NO, it can't be! I was just about to come!' mother bear flew up the stairs. Little bear started munching the honey sandwiches as father bear groaned on.
Beep beep beep beep beeeep. Mother bear frantically dialed numbers on the phone. 'Lisa? Lisa, I'm not even late like I was before the week before the month before two months ago before the day I was not at all astonished to realize that little bear is a moron!'
'What happened? I haven't even called you! I'm not ready myself!' Lisa said on the other end.
'But-but-but that flash? You're setting me up! Your lousy group of hogpig friends are attempting to take photos of the embarassing and sickening moments I repeatedly share with those two morons called my family!' mother bear blabbered.
'First of all, SPIT LESS,' Lisa spat in disgust, wiping her eyeballs. 'Second of all, my friends are NOT hogpigs. They are bearhogs. Sheesh, no wonder they all think something's wrong with you...because in reality, you're a hogpig,' Lisa said.
'I'm reaching the picnic location in approximately five seconds,' mother bear concluded.
A sudden, loud sound of gushing water hit the side of the condo. 'I knew I was meditating too much,' mother bear droned. Suddenly, mother bear was floating in mid-air. She looked down to see herself awkwardly floating in a huge sea of dirty water. The condo had been flooded.
Mother bear swam over to the washroom destined for demolition. 'Good thing I managed to learn swimming on my own last summer, using the moron as my life saver floaty thing,' mother bear chuckled as she clumsily swam through the flood, occasionally drowning.
In the tenth washroom, mother bear pressed the flush. Within a few minutes, all the water disappeared.
With a swift motion and a beat of her imaginary wings, mother bear swooped down the stairs and fluttered into the kitchen. Just then, she froze, as her eyeballs began gleaming dangerously at the sight of little bear, munching a bite of the honey sandwich in his hands.

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