Best Avengers Quotes!

So here are some of my favorite quotes from Marvel's The Avengers. Please comment with any I missed or corrections to those I have up.

Also: some of the best quotes have bad language in them, so if it's up here, I've changed the word to something less offensive. Just a warning X)

Chapter 1

Epic Quotes (In Order of Appearance)

And the humans...what can they do but burn?

Until such time as the world ends we will act as thought it intends to spin on.

Sir, please put down the spear!

I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.

Please don't. I still need that.
This doesn't have to get any messier.
Of course it does. I've come too far for anything else.

We have no quarrel with your people.
And ant has no quarrel with a boot.
...Are you planning to step on us?

Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart...you will know peace.

Look, you can't pull me now. I'm in the middle of an interrogation, this moron is giving me everything.
...I not...give her everything...?

We need you to talk to the big guy.
Phil, you know Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me.
Oh, I've got Stark. You've got the Big Guy.
...(I don't know what she says here, but I assume it's the Russian equivalent of "Crap." X)

Shoulda got paid up front, Banner.

Are you here to kill me, Miss Romanoff? Because that's not gonna work out...for everyone.

What if I say no?
I'll persuade you.
And what if the...Other Guy says no?

We're facing a potential global catastrophe.
Oh...those I actively try to avoid.

What's Fury want me to do, swallow it?

No one's going to put you in a cage-
STOP LYING TO ME! gun clicking ...I'm sorry. That was mean. ...I just wanted to see what you'd do. Let's do this the easy way, where you don't use that and the...Other Guy doesn't make a mess. Ok?

War isn't won by sentiment, Director.
No. It's won by soldiers.

Trouble sleeping?
Slept for 70 years, sir. I think I've had my fill.

Who took it from you?
He's called Loki. He's...not from around here.

At this point I don't think anything would surprise me.
Ten bucks says you're wrong.

Is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract that we ought to know now?
You should've left it in the ocean.

How does it look?
Like Christmas, but with more...me.

Sir, Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. is on the line.
I'm not in. I'm actually out.
...Sir, I'm afraid he's insisting-
Grow a spine, Jarvis. I've got a date.

Levels are holding steady...I think...
Of course they are, I was directly involved. Which leads me to my next question, how does it feel to be a genius?
Well, I wouldn't really know, now would I?

Come on, give yourself some credit. Give yourself....12% of the credit.
....12%.
An argument could be made for 15...
12%?

I'm gonna pay for that comment about percentages, aren't I, in some subtle way later on?
Mm...not gonna be that subtle.

"You have reached the life-model decoy of Tony Stark. Please leave a message."
This is urgent.
Then leave it urgently. elevator opens ...Security breach!

Oh, hi Phil, come in!
Phil? Uh, his first name is "Agent".

Official consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday....

I thought we were having a moment.
I was having 12% of a moment.

Is this about the Avengers? ...Which I know nothing about.
The Avengers Initiative was scrapped. Besides, I thought I didn't qualify.
I didn't know that, either....
Yeah, apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, and don't play well with others.
...That I did know.

I sorta met you. I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. ...I mean...I was present...while you were unconscious, from the ice.

Until your force is mine to command, you are but words.
You will have your war, Asgardian.

You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain!

It was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice. I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?
Trading cards?
They're vintage. He's very proud.

You may wanna step inside in a minute. It's gonna get a little hard to breathe.
Is this a submarine?
Really. They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container? engines whirring, propellers start moving ...Oh, no, this is much worse.

ten dollars from Steve to Nick

Doctor. Thank you for coming.
Thank you for asking nicely.

What did it show you, Agent Barton?
My next target.
Tell me what you need.
I need a distraction. And an eyeball.

If it's not too much trouble. ...It's a vintage set. Took me a couple years to collect them all.

Kneel before me. ...I said, kneel! ...Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity - that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.
Not to men like you.
There are no men like me.
There are always men like you.
Look to your elder, people. Let him be the example. epic shield move
The last time I was in Germany, and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing.
The soldier. The man out of time.
I'm not the one who's out of time.

Agent Romanoff. Miss me?

Make a move, Reindeer Games. Good move.

You are pretty spry, for an older fellow.

You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a capsicle.

What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?
I'm not overly fond of what follows.

Stark! We need a plan of attack!
I have a plan - attack.

I'd sit this one out, Cap.
Don't see how I can.
These guys come straight from legend, they're basically gods.
There's only one God, ma'am. And I'm pretty sure He doesn't dress like that.

Where is the tesseract?
laughing I missed you too.
Do I look to be in a gaming mood?!

Do you remember none of that?!
I remember a shadow. I remember living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss. I was and should be king!

The earth is under my protection, Loki.
And you're doing a wonderful job with that. The humans kill themselves in droves while you idly fret. I mean to rule them! And why should I not?
You think yourself above them?
...Well yes.

Listen well, brother- gets tackled
....I'm listening?

Do not touch me again.
Then don't take my stuff.
You have no idea what you're facing.
Uh, Shakespeare in the park? "Doth Mother know thou weareth her drapes?"
Tourist.

Power at 400% capacity.
...How about that.

Hey! That's enough! Now I don't know what you plan on doing-
I've come to put an end to Loki's schemes!
Then prove it. Put that hammer down.
Uh, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves hi-
You want me to put the hammer down?! epic shield move
awkward silence ...Are we done here?

In case it's unclear, you try to escape...you so much as scratch that glass...30,000 feet, straight down, in a steel trap. You get how that works? Ant, boot.

Well lemme know if Real Power wants a magazine or something.

Well. He really grows on you, doesn't he.

That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother.
He killed 80 people in two days.
...He's adopted...

That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did.

How does Fury even see these?
He turns.
Sounds exhausting.

Since when did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?
Last night.

If he could do that, he could have achieved heavy ion fusion in any reactor on the planet.
Finally! Someone who speaks English.
Is that what just happened?

Dr. Banner. Your work in antielectron collisions is unparalleled. And also, I am a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
...Thanks.

Then tell me how he turned two of my best men into his own personal flying monkeys!
Monkeys? I do not understand-
I do! ...I understood that reference.

Galaga sound effects

I promise a stress-free environment. No tension, no surprises. zap
Ow!
....Nothing?

You have really got a lid on it. What's your secret? Mellow jazz, bongo drums, a giant bag of weed?

He a spy, Captain. He's the spy. His secrets have secrets.

An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome.

Following's not really my style.
And you're all about style, aren't you.

Of the people in this room, which one is A) wearing a spangly outfit, and B) not of use?

That's the guy my dad never shut up about?

What are you asking me to do?
I'm asking, what are you prepared to do?

Then why do I get the feeling that he's the only person on this boat that wants to be here?

There aren't many people who can sneak up on me.
But you figured I'd come.
After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct...you would appear as a friend. As a balm. And I would cooperate.
I want to know what you've done to Agent Barton.
I'd say I've expanded his mind.
And once you've won, once you're king of the mountain, what happens to his mind?
Is this love, Agent Romanoff?
Love is for children. I owe him a debt.

Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian. Or I was.
And what are you now?
It's really not that complicated. I've got red in my ledger, I want to wipe it out.
Can you? Can you wipe out that much red?

You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers.

So. Banner. That's your play?
...What?
Loki's planning on unleashing the Hulk. Keep Dr. Banner in the lab, I'm on my way. Send Thor as well. ...Thank you for your cooperation.

Loki's manipulating you.
And you've been doing what, exactly?

Nuclear deterrent. Because that always calms everything right down.

Now how did this become about me?
I'm sorry, isn't everything?

Are you all really that naive? S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats.
Why is Captain America on that list?
Rogers is on the potential threats list? Is he above or below angry bees?
I swear, Stark, one more...
Threatened! I feel threatened!
(Ok, I know this one's not quite right, but I need help...?)

Big man in a suit. Take that away, what are you?
Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
I know guys with none of that worth ten of you.

What are we, a team? No, no, we're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're...we're a time bomb.

You better stop pretending to be a hero.
What, a hero, like you? You're a laboratory experiment, Rodgers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.

Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds.
I'm kinda starting to want you to make me.
You people are so petty! And tiny.
in the background Yeah, this is a team.

Agent Romanoff, please remove Dr. Banner to hi-
Where? You rented out my room.
Doctor, the cage was just in case-
In case you needed to kill me. But you can't. I know. I tried. ...I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth. And the Other Guy spit it out. I moved on. I focused on helping others. I was good. And then you came along and dragged me back into this freak show. You wanna know my secret, you wanna know how I keep calm?
Doctor, put down the scepter.

Sorry kids. Guess you don't get to see my party trick after all.

Put on the suit.
I'm not afraid to hit an old man.

explosion ...Put on the suit, go!
Yep.

What's it look like?
It seems to be running on some form of electricity!
Well, you're not wrong.

Use English!
...You see that red lever?

Target acquired. Target engaged. Target angry, target angry!

Stark! We're losing altitude!
Noticed.

Put us over the water!
Sir, navigation is down -
Is the sun coming up?!
...Yes, sir...
Then put it on the left!

Are you ever not going to fall for that?

Move away please. You like this? We started working on the prototype after you sent that destroyer. Even I don't know what it does. Wanna find out?

You're gonna lose. It's in your nature.

Where is my disadvantage?
You lack conviction.
I don't think I- gun firing
So that's what it does.

You fell outta the sky.
Did I hurt anybody?
Nobody around to get hurt. Scared the crap outta some pigeons, though.
...I'm lucky.
Or just good aim. You were awake when you fell.
...You saw?
The whole thing. Big, green, and nude. Didn't think these'd fit you till you shrunk down to a regular-size feller.
Thanks.
Are you an alien?
Huh?
From outer space. An alien.
Uh, no.
Well then, son....you've got a condition.

Why am I back? How'd you get him out?
Cognitive recalibration. I hit you really hard in the head.
Thanks.

If I put an arrow through Loki's eye socket I'd...sleep better, I suppose.
Now you sound like you.
But you don't.

I'm sorry. He seemed like a good man.
He was an idiot.

Is this the first soldier you've los-
We are not soldiers!

Uh, y-you guys aren't authorized to be in here -
Son, just don't.

Sir, the Mark VII isn't ready for deployment-
Then skip the spinning rims, we're on the clock!

Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity.
Actually, I'm going to threaten you.
You should have left the armor on for that.
Yeah, since you have your little Glow Stick of Destiny...

...it's what we call ourselves. We're kind of like a team. World's greatest heroes type of thing.
Yes, I've met them.
It takes a while for us to get traction, I'll give you that. But let's do a head count here - your brother, the demigod; the super soldier, a living legend who pretty much lives up to the legend; a man with breathtaking anger management issues; a couple major assassins - and you, big fella, you've managed to tick off every single one of them.

I have an army!
We have a Hulk. Look, you're missing the point. There is no throne here. There is no version of this where you come out on top.

scepter tapping ....This usually works.

Jarvis. Any time now.
You will all fall before me!

And there's one other person you've ticked off. His name was Phil.

Right. Army.

You think you can hold them off?
Captain, it would be my genuine pleasure.

Just like Budapest all over again, huh?
...You and I remember Budapest very differently.

Well, we got his attention. Now what the heck was step two?

I have unfinished business with Loki.
Yeah, well get in line.

I'm bringing the party to you.
I don't see how that's a party...

Dr. Banner! Now might be a really good time to get angry.
That's my secret, Captain. I'm always angry.

Better clench up, Legolas.

What else you got for me?
Well, Thor's taking on a squadron down on 6th.
And he didn't invite me.

ENOUGH! You are all of you beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature! I will not be bullied by-

Jarvis, you ever hear the tale of Jonah?
...I wouldn't consider him a role model, sir.

RAAAAAAAARRRGGH!!!
GAH! What the heck? What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.

You ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint a few blocks down. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.

If it's all the same to you....I'll have that drink now.

awkward scene eating shawarma

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