Okay, so this is just a sample of my new story. Please give me some ideas in the comments and I'll add on. And if you think the story is going to be a flop, please say so. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Please please please tell me what you think and if I should continue.
'Run, breath, run and breath.'
I could hear their yells and curses. All I wanted was some help. And there I was, running for my life through the forest. My thick, red hair covering my eyes. I pushed it out of the way and kept running. I looked back for a split second, and then ran some more.
I heard some barking. They had the dogs after me now! I tripped over a stone and landed on my hands, but I quickly jumped up. My hands stung, and I could see red liquid slowly oozing out.
Tears were pouring down my dirt coated face. My jeans had a hole from the fall, and I felt as though I could collapse in any second.
"Stop, girl! You won't get away so easy!"
'Keep running, keep running.'
I knew I was going to be caught, but something in me kept me running. I ran around a huge oak tree, and tripped again, this time into a creek.
'Good, now the dogs won't be able to catch my scent!'
It felt refreshing in the water, but I had to keep going.
I stumbled out of the water, and then back into the dark forest. I heard noises like screams and moans. I shook my head. I was too scared to stop now.
'It's your mind, Rory. It's all in your mind.'
But then, I just couldn't take any more. I collapsed in the middle of a clearing. What I didn't know, was that someone else was there. Not the angry mob of men, but instead............
A/N Okay, what did you think? It may have been a little long for a sample, but bare with me. Please tell me any ideas or suggestions in the comments.