100 Awesome Prussia facts of awesomeness

i am more awesome the the word awesome it's self. Like cridit to who ever wrote this. I'm just awesomely shareing it with you guys cuz it's all true!

Chapter 1

Prussia waz here! X3

1. Prussia doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets out of the way.


2. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Prussia can throw Brett Favre even further.


3. The Prussia military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Prussia could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.


4. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Prussia can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.


5. Prussia stared evil in the face, and it backed down.


6. Prussia can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head.


7. When Prussia does division, there are no remainders.


8. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Prussia.


9. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Prussia.


10. Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Prussia is looking for it.


11. On a high school math test, Prussia put down "Awesome" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Prussia solves all his problems with Awesome-ness.


12. When Prussia does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.


13. Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Prussia.


14. Prussia actually built the stairway to heaven.


15. The word 'Awesome' was invented by Prussia. Other words were 'Kesese', 'Beer', and 'Win'.


16. Prussia can build a snowman out of rain.


17. Prussia can hold his breathe for nine years.


18. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Prussia is worth 1 billion words.


19. Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Prussia's Awesomeness."


20. For Prussia, every street is "one way". His WAY.


21. When Prussia sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Prussia has not had to pay taxes, ever.


22. Prussia uses a night light. Not because Prussia is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Prussia.


23. Prussia is the only one who can taste Awesome.


24. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Prussia is on.


25. If you spell Prussia in Scrabble, you win. Forever.


26. Prussia used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.


27. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Prussia turned that wine into beer.


28. Prussia has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.


29. There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Prussia.


30. Prussia once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.


31. Prussia once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.


32. Prussia once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"


33. Prussia got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.


34. Prussia does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.


35. When Prussia was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Prussia.


36. The chief export of Prussia is "Awesome".


37. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Prussia.


38. Prussia once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Prussia re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.


39. Prussia CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.


40. On the SAT if you put Prussia for every answer you will score over 8000


41. Prussia once had a heart attack; his heart lost.


42. Prussia does know what Willis is talking about!


43. Prussia has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 countries.


44. Prussia let the dogs out


45. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Prussia's warm-up exercises.


46. Prussia can delete the Recycling Bin.


47. The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Prussia


48. Prussia never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.


49. Simply by pulling on both ends, Prussia can stretch diamonds back into coal.


50. Only Prussia can prevent forest fires.


51. Prussia counted to infinity - twice.


52. When Prussia breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.


53. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Prussia.


54. When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that he is going to ask Prussia for help.


55. Prussia doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.


56. Prussia invented the question mark.


57. The speed of light was instituted because Prussia didn't want get winded outrunning it. Prussia hates to sweat.


58. You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you're Prussia


59. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Prussia was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep


60. Prussia can kill two stones with one bird.


61. Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Prussia fight.


62. Divide Prussia by zero and you will in fact get one........one awesome bad-ass that is.


63. Prussia doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


64. Prussia doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.


65. Prussia can split the atom. With his bare hands.


66. Prussia trick-or-treated as himself as a child


67. Prussia's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.


68. Prussia's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever


69. Prussia's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Prussia.


70. Prussia has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.


71. Prussia can tie his shoes with his feet.


72. Prussia died 80 years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.


73. Superman owns a pair of Prussia pajamas.


74. Prussia can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.


75. Prussia got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Prussia for every answer.


76. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Prussia has 72... and they're all awesome.


77. There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Prussia.


78. Prussia has two speeds: Walk and Awesome.


79. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Prussia says its beef, then it's beef.


80. Prussia has banned rainbows from the country of Austria.


81. Prussia is the reason why Waldo is hiding.


82. Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Prussia touches turns Awesome.


83. When you say "no one's perfect", Prussia takes this as a personal insult


84. When Prussia calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.


85. Q: How many Prussia's does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Prussia does not change lightbulbs, for he is too Awesome for such a task.


86. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Prussia.


87. Bullets dodge Prussia.


88. Prussia is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.


89. When Prussia falls in water, Prussia doesn't get wet. Water gets Prussia.


90. Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Prussia. Prussia eats black holes. They taste like chicken.


91. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Prussia.


92. Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Prussia.


93. Prussia cannot predict the future; the future just better do what Prussia says.


94. Prussia doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."


95. Prussia can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.


96. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Prussia out. It failed miserably.


97. Prussia CAN believe it's not butter.


98. Prussia once finished "The Song that Never Ends".


99. Prussia is not only a noun, but a verb.


100. Prussia crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.


101. Prussia invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Poland invented pink.


102. Prussia is so Awesome, not even 100 facts could even begin to describe how truly Awesome he is.

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