Pain is Pleasure (A Johanna Mason Story)

I was considering who I had written stories about before; many Hunger Games characters fill my archives.. but I never quite focused on one of the most important and dynamic characters throughout this incredible trilogy: Johanna Mason. In this story, we will learn more about Johanna's past, discover her pain, and whether or not becoming totally healed from her wounds is possible. Can love save this brutal victor... is love even a possibility for someone so scarred? Find out for yourself...

Chapter 1

Giving Up

Johanna POV

Darkness. Why could it not swallow me? Seclusion. Why could it not be my only refuge? Why was it, that when I sought isolation, all I received was a wave of pain crashing over me. All the affliction from years' past caught up with me. I ran, I could sprint away from my troubles, but around every corner, another set of difficulties was waiting to grab me, to thrust me into the face of death. I smirked, a sarcastic smile, familiar to my features, overcame my lips. The darkness would not catch me. No. I would give no one that satisfaction. I would never dream of allowing Snow to be the one to take my life away. That was my job, a task I was no longer fearful of fulfilling. The sharp silver blade was against my wrist. I swallowed hard, a bitter taste slithering down my throat. Do it, Johanna the voices pleaded. Do it. Do it now. There was no hesitation. I slid the knife quickly against my skin. I did not even whimper. The blood flowed from the open cut, carved into my wrist. "I'm coming to the tree, Katniss," I grunted, my eyes rolling. "I'm coming to the tree." Suddenly, the light was gone. It became a distant calling, beckoning me towards it. I planned to oblige. The brightness became a blurr, and all that was left was a blackness. One that consumed me. Finally.

"Johanna! Johanna?" My ominous brown eyes fluttered open. My pale skin was tinted blue, matching purple lips set upon my face. For a moment or two, I could not move. I was cemented to the snow-covered ground as I struggled for freedom. I was finally rewarded with such as my hands broke free. I pushed myself upward and stumbled slightly, swaying like a drunkard, and pressed my weight against a nearby building. Off balance, I hobbled through the empty town that must have represented the isolation I had sought during my lifetime. No one was around. Not a soul, not a living thing in sight. A graveyard. I approached it gingerly and gasped in horror as my name became engraved into the marble stone. "No," I choked, the words etching into my arm. "NO!" I screamed, thrashing, feeling nothing but remorse as I surfaced out of the dream, the last image of the nightmare seeing Mags, waving, and laughing that throaty laugh of hers. I thought I heard her call out. "Johanna!" I turned the corner and sprinted as fast as my bare feet could take me. "Johanna! Remember!" I halted and spun around, her snake eyes meeting mine. "Remember..." Her voice was hollow, the wind resounding from it, empty, as lifeless as she was. "Remember, Johanna. The stars cannot shine without darkness." With that, she melted before my eyes, a terrible sight, leaving me confused and mortified as I resurfaced from the nightmare, having received a second chance at life.

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