Please read: A story about abuse, bulling and self harm warning dark and confronting situations but it does have inspiring ending =)

Everyone has been talking about Amanda Todd and bullying so I thought I would tell a story which is 100% true... By the way, my opinions on Amanda Todd are: I feel sorry for her, she made mistakes and she paid for it. Personally I think she shouldn't have run away from it but confronted the public about it and gotten the police to track down the man who was doing all those things to her, if he made a facebook page, he can be tracked down to the nearest 10 meters! Just saying, not trying to b****

Chapter 1

It begins like a fairytale...

Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived with her mother and never knew her father. Her mother was a drug addict and most nights passed out drunk until late morning. The little girl made her own breakfast, dressed herself and cleaned up after herself at the age of three. Her IQ was higher than most children, she could read, talk and walk perfectly and at christmas time was through the moon when she got books and the barbie dolls laid in the corner.

Often the little girl try to help her mother out with chores and one day while picking clothes off the top bunk of her bunk bed she slipped and cut open in between two of her toes.

She cried like normal children her age would but quickly remembered her mother's anger and tried to control herself. She cleaned her wound and stuck on a bandaid and wrapped her entire foot in a bandage and continued to clean up. Her mother never noticed.

One night roughly when the girl was 3 or 4 her mother was invited to go to a pool party for work members. Her mother having a headach said she didn't want to go but knew the little girl loved pools and rarely got the chance to enjoy one and asked her boyfriend to take her to the party. The party was filled to the brim with drunken adults that laughed loudly and quickly forgot the small child who knew nothing about swimming. She slipped from her floaty and quickly went under. She drowned that night. They pulled out her dead body and imediatly performed CPR and managed to bring the little girl back, coughing and vomiting up only water and stomach acid from not eating anything that day.

An ambulance took her to the hospital and pumped the rest of the water and chemicals from the pool out of her lungs. The little girl woke up alone and asked for her mother. They told her, her mother had been told what happened and they were still waiting for her to come. So the little girl who drowned not 24 hours ago, walked around the ward and helped the nurses help other children and ignored both the pain and the doctors request to lay back down.

Eventually her mother came to the hospital and found out a shocking fact; if her daughter had of been under the water for another two seconds, she would have brain damage and another second after that, she would not have been able to be saved.

The little girl grew up with a fear of drowning. But it was definitely not the last challenge she had to face.

Her mother married. A man that was old enough to be the small child's great-grandfather. Her mother asked her if she liked him and if it was alright if he became her new daddy and the little girl shook her head, she was terrified of him. Her mother ignored her and married him anyway. Her mother then asked the little girl if she wanted to keep her last name and add his or change it to his forever. The little girl flatly said she wanted to keep her own and thankfully, the mother listened and the girl had two last names.

Now while she was dealing with an ignoring mother and a scarey stepfather, she was dealing with school life. Well, she wasn't really dealing with it, more like being terrorised by it.

She was intelligent and different, so she had no friends. Even her teacher's hated her, they didn't want to teach a kindergartener that knew all the answers and read sixth grade books in a cramped up corner next to the heater. After kindergarten had finished, her mother changed schools and never gave a reason why. The next school was really good, she made a few friends (as weird as they were) and people left her alone but again when she reached third grade, her mother pulled her out and took her to the worst school she had to enjure.

Almost daily, she was beaten up but people three times bigger than her and tormented beyond belief. One time, she was just walking along the fence of the back field minding her own business when a group of boys playing soccer aimed the ball at her and ran up to her accusing her of stealing the ball. She tried to run but they caught up to her and shoved her to the ground and repeatedly kicked her small fragile body until they saw a teacher looking their way.

One day one of her tormentors was crying cause of his family and she walked over to him and put an arm around his shoulders. He never looked up and he never knew she was the one comforting him.

She started to figure out ways to avoid these people when something happened that she considered a blessing and a curse... Her half brother was born. Spoilt as soon as he came into the world and yet the girl was the one looking after him and caring for him. They adored each other and hated each other at the same time, the typical brother/sister relationship. She then became the maid of the house. Constantly cleaning, polishing, washing, sweeping then vacuuming and then mopping the house... sometimes have to do it twice for not meeting her mother's standards. Every time she did something wrong or didn't do it quickly enough, she was hit either on the butt or across her face leaving a mark for days.

At the age of nine, she began selfharming.
She took her scissors and sliced up her arms.
She drank poisons and was punished for lying about being "sick" and not doing her chores

One day she had enough and hung herself in her wardrobe, she had been practicing tying a noose on her barbie dolls. She kicked her chair over and her body fell down. After a few seconds of choking the bar snapped and she came crashing down scrapping most of her skin off her back.

This self-harm continued on and then she went to high school. And that's where things turned from bad to worse...

She was Twelve and determined to make a lot of friends, get good grades and start a whole new life.

She was considered strange; tiny girl with ribs sticking out, slightly insane, big blue eyes surrounded by black, scars marring her body and a high IQ to wrap it all up. She made a few friends that quickly used her niceness against her and constantly helped the rest of the class to find things to do to her, including stealing and burning her favourite book, he first Harry Potter book she was given; Chamber of secrets. But the worse was happening at home.

Her step-father... fell in love with the twelve year old. She was a sweet, innocent version of her mother even though she was twelve and he was sixty. It didn't matter to him. He used her irregular fevers to touch her skin and slowly he moved forward and took her innocence. She sliced open her wrists again, leaving perminant scars. She tried to avoid him after that but it was impossible.

Just a few weeks before her thirteenth birthday, her mother slapped her across her face leaving a huge mark that lasted all day. She went to school crying and the teachers noticed and got her to open up, they were her family to a certain extent, they really cared about this small smart child. She told them about her mother and her abusive side and DOcs were instantly alerted and they called up my mother who abused them over the phone and told them to "Keep the B*ch" Her stepfather collected the girl and he yelled at her for telling DOcs. She said she had no choice and he took her home to her fuming mother who received a letter about the girl missing an assignment which had been a mistake.

The little girl stood at the door crying silently listening to her mother wishing she had never given birth to her and how she was going to kill the "Little Brat" Her mother lunged at her and her stepfather stopped her. Her mother left for work and the girl had a shower to cry. Her stepfather opened the door with a knife and jumped into the shower with her. The girl gave up and let him do what he wanted to her and this continued until her sixteenth birthday.

By then, she had taken up smoking, drinking and casual s
x, she thought "I'm worthless, who cares?" Her grades dropped dramatically and she put on a lot of weight, but not enough to put him off. She cut her hair short when he said he loved it long and he controlled so much of her life, it was killing her.

She had tried to hang herself out in the backyard but the tree branch broke and her dog kept whinning everytime she went back there. He understood and knew more than anyone.

After she turned sixteen, she had had enough, she finally found inspiration (Johnny Depp) and had fallen in love. She wasn't worthless anymore. She told her life long friend and her family and he was arrested. Her mother refused to speak to her and refuses to let her see her brother. She lost so much because of one man but she gained so much.

But you know what? That little is me. I lived the nightmare you just read. So much more happened but this is cliffnotes version. Thank you for reading my story and I hope you can take this story and find the courage to speak up, don't let people get you down, you have so much to live for and I can guarantee life will get better!

I just finished High School, I'm going to University next year to study acting and teaching. I'm in love with the same man that gave me a reason to live. I have a new family that loves me and cares for me and puts up with my weirdness.

Never give up.


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