Gosh why? (Lindsy)

Chapter 1

Good lord!

We had a feild trip to a community college and Amy really liked it. So when we got back to school we had to write relfections on a blog and comment on others'. We've done this before and everyone was acusing Amy of being mean even though that wasn't her intention. She kept telling them that but they didn't believe her.

So then this OT guy (Which she really hates because he pulls her out of class and makes her miss notes) said that she was wasting his time.

Then to top it all off one of her teachers said she was being unprofessional.

She got livid. She didn't yell at anyone but I could tell that she very much wanted to. She was crazy mad and I completely understand.

Why are people so mean? Even adults are being nasty to her. She is starting to talk about not wanting to go to school because it's to much stress. Which means we need to be there for her more often. She wants to be a nurse when she grows up and she can't offord to miss any school whatsoever with dreams like that.

But I am really proud of her. Instead of blasting off and yelling and cursing, she decided to play her electric guitar. She's calmed down a lot. She's not happy but she's not livid either. She may not have told us much but at least she did something to calm herself down.

But she really needs to start talking. We need your help with that. Maybe she'll talk to you about it instead of us? If you can get her to talk please do even if we don't get to hear it. Right now she's obivously not in the mood, but if any of you could get her to talk that would be great.

She's hangin' in there. She hasn't cut because we've been around but I can tell it's really wearing on her. Cutting is like her only coping skill so she's having a rough time without it.

But I guess she needs this to quit cutting. She's being forced to deal with bad emotions and that's a very good thing. I know eventually keeping it all in will be to much and she'll tell one of us. It's sad that she has to explode to do it but... It's our only option left.

We're going to keep on trying to crack her open though. Wish us luck.


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