Standing on the edge

Even when you've reached rock bottom, there's always a way up

Chapter 1

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Blood pounded in my ears. This was it. No turning back now. I looked down and felt nothing. No fear, no terror, nothing at all. There was nothing else worth waiting any longer for. The thought of the agony ending brought a small smile to my lips. I took a breath. Just one step forward, that’s all I needed to do. Yes, this was what I wanted. The wind picked up and blew my messy shoulder length chestnut brown hair around my face.

Look at the sky one last time, you owe it to yourself, a voice in my head told me. It was a moonless night tonight. A few stars peeked out at me from behind grey clouds. Other than the company of the stars, I was alone. I was always alone. The smell of rain lingered in the air. At least the rain would wash away the mess I’ll be making, I mused.

I looked down once more at the inviting bottom. This ought to be fun. Even though my physical body would stop once it reached the cement below, my soul would still continue the downwards journey all the way to hell. Suicide humour, man I’m seriously losing it. Now is as good a time as it’ll ever be. Time to take that step and it’ll all be ov-

“Em! Emily Sarah Thompson! Don’t you dare take another step!” a voice screeched from somewhere behind me. I swerved around quickly and clumsily, not really caring if that motion sent me over the edge. That’s my gaol anyway. My dark brown irises met with piercing silver ones.

“Paul? What are you doing here?” I stuttered lamely. Well, it’s true. Paul was the last person on this miserable Earth I would expect to be standing here right now telling me not to take a leap of serenity. I’ve loved him forever, but he never cared about me. We grew up together, but he moved on. The last words I’ve ever said to him was “I’m sorry for bugging you, goodbye”

“Stopping you from doing something you will regret. Now step back from that ledge.” His voice was still slightly shrilly and shaky.

“Why? Why do you care? You don’t care.” He happily pushed me aside for a good seven years. He doesn’t care. He probably just chanced upon me and knew that if he didn’t try to stop me, the incident would haunt him for years.

“Please Em, I do care. I’ve never stopped caring. Please, just come down here and talk to me. I can’t stand to lose you, especially not like this!” he pleaded with me.

“You don’t care about me. You never did. Just leave me alone. Let me die in peace” He flinched back as if the words actually stung. If I had a mirror, I’m pretty sure my eyes grew a few shades darker as well. I’m not going to let his words affect me. I’m not that weak and soft girl that I used to be. That girl grew up.

“Em… please…” he begged. I just turned my back on him. I’m not falling into that trap again. Not now and not again. “I’m sorry… I really am… just don’t leave me now… not when I really need you…”

“Me? Leave you? Who abandoned me first? Who left me wondering what I did wrong and how I must have somehow hurt you and that you hated me?” I shot back. I felt my body shake with rage.

“Em…”

Wait. That wasn’t rage. It was pain. Memories of the years I felt so lost flooded my mind’s sight. I felt whatever walls I built come crashing down. My knees felt weak under my sudden dead weight.

“Polo…” My vision blurred. I took a step back from the edge. An arm went around my waist pulling me in.

“Shh shh, I’ve got you. It’s all going to be okay…” Paul muttered into my hair.

“No… it’s not… I’ve lost everything. I have nothing left. Nothing to live for…” I mumbled through tears.

“Come over to my place and tell me all about it, okay?” he murmured. Silently, I nodded.

He slid his hand into mine, as if we were five again.

“Let me give you something to live for…”

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