All I need to know in life, I learned from...

This is a journal of some random things I learn while ____. Hopefully it's not boring.

Chapter 1

Barbecuing.

1.) Don't play with fire. It burns.
A.) Lighters aren't toys.
B.) Neither is grease.
2.) Bring the chicken out before you need it. Chances are, your mom will put it back in the freezer.
3.) Barbecue sauce is flammable. Very flammable.
4.) Metal gets hot. Think before you touch it.
5.) When it's windy and cold, don't wear shorts. You'll freeze your ass off.
6.) When fat catches on fire, it's hard to put out.
7.) Next time, get some marshmallows to roast.
8.) Never live next to the fairgrounds. Every year, they have mud drag racing. Which is loud. And annoying.
9.) When you start laughing, your mom will come see what's wrong. And, appearantly, it's not OK to burn napkins.
10.) It's also not OK to see how long it takes for plastic to melt.
11.) NEVER try and see what happens when crome meets lighter...

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