My Journal

I may or may not keep this. I just need to voice my feelings. None of this is fiction. These are my actual feelings and words. I'm not putting this up for attention. I just need to write down my feelings.

Chapter 1

7,15,2012

Today I'm feeling bad and upset.
I feel like a failure. Like I've messed everything up. I feel alone.
I feel like no one wants me or loves me.
I feel ugly.
I feel sick. Sick to my stomach. Sick about life. Sick about being me.
Everyday I wish I were someone different.
I'm pitiful and pathectic.
He needs someone better than me.
I'm not good enough.
I'm ugly.
I'm horrible. I can't control my anger. I can't control myself.
I wish My life was different.
I'm not afraid of dying.
I'm afraid of leaving.
I love how every thing I do I always manage to push people away.
I'm just destined to be alone.
Hopefully I'll die alone.
I'm scared of being alone.
I hate it.
I hate being around people though.
I don't want to die.
I don't want to die alone.
I hate being left alone by certain people.
I just want to crawl in a hole and never come out today.

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