This is My Crush Rant

Just read it if you want to. I don't give a freak. I've told people on and off part of my story. But the only person that knows it all is me. And I'm tired of being the only person to know.

Chapter 1

Insert Seven Hearts Here

Does anyone else realize how much the number seven is in their lives? I do. And it's a good number, it really is. But you guys don't know what that number means in my life, what that number means to me.

Seven continents in the world.
Seven clarinets in my band class.
Seven pieces in a Tangram.
Seventeen is my favorite number.
Seven classes a day.
Seven is what the numbers on a die equal.
Seven days in a week.

But none of those seven listed reasons are the reason that that number is so...you know, important to me in my life.

Serena, you might want to stop reading here, if you were reading this at all. Because it's all about you-know-who.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm in love. I've been in love for about a month now. And the guy I love is so sweet, so kind, cute, smart, polite, easy to talk to, amazing. Since about late September, he has been one of my best friends. We have been in the same class all year - duh - and I've sat at the same table or like right next to him twice.

Sure, he's weird. But we're all weird, aren't we? He helped me trick my "daughter" (fake family) on Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. I remember that day, a month and some odd days ago. That's the day that Sevon found out I liked him.

The first day he said he didn't like me.

That night, I was texting him. This is basically the conversation we had:

Kenzie: Hey. What did Rachel tell you?
Sevon: She told me you like me.
Kenzie: I do.
Sevon: You do?
Kenzie: Yeah.
Sevon: Did you want her to tell me?
Kenzie: I didn't tell her to but I don't care that she did.
Sevon: Oh.
Kenzie: Do you like me?
Sevon: I'm not sure.
Kenzie: Oh. I don't know what to do now.
Sevon: It's okay. I don't either.
Kenzie: Oh.

He stopped replying then. I didn't text him again that night. I texted him a lot after, but the only time he's answered since was to give me a friend's number.

On the 15th...That was an interesting day. A lot of things happened that day. I'll cut the story short, because this is a really long story in all. The true ones are always the ones with the most to say, are they not? The first important thing that happened that day was after band. Maddie said she had to talk to me. I had no idea what she would have to say to me, so I said okay. She got down on her knees and started taking her clarinet apart as I did the same. She whispered in my ear and said, "Sevon likes you." I was so happy inside. On the outside, I tried to remain calm. I just said, "Good." Throughout the rest of the school day, everything was normal. Until I was walking out of the classroom. This is the time that Sevon catches up to me and says, "Hey, Kenzie, did Maddie or Griffin say anything to you?" I nod because it's true. "She told me you like me." He sighs. "Well, she was just trying to get back at me from something from last year, but...I'm sorry." I had iPad class after that. I didn't have time to think about that then.

And then there's what happened on Friday. If you haven't gotten this, I asked him out. It was when my class was coming back from lunch, so a lot of people are talking. I told my friends that I wanted to ask him out, but I didn't know when. Lucy decided that Friday was a good time. I agreed with her. She was right when she said now or never. I took now. So about I have no idea how many people from my class - Maelea, Lucy, Rachel, Grant, Serena, MaKayla, Chris, Liam, and whoever the heck else saw - were there. He said something along the lines of "I'm sorry...but, no." That's when Grant said that it was opposite day. We all laughed. I was dying inside, but I laughed, too. Grant is a really good friend. You and anyone else would be lucky to have a friend like him. But then Sevon said, "We can still be friends, though." I sat down in my seat because class was starting. We had to take this really long stupid test and I was almost crying. My face was red and hot and I was blushing like crazy. I was coughing and rubbing my eyes and messing up my yellow make-up. When I went to band, everyone was hugging me on the way out of class. Serena said, "If I were him, I'd date you." On the way to band, Serena said she could tell that I was sad. No one can ever tell how I'm feeling. So that meant a lot, that she could see that I was upset.

And, really. After he said no, my heart hurt. A lot. It really did. I guess his "I'm not sure" never turned to yes. Or, rather, it turned to a no.

During band, Karista said, "You know, he probably said no because you're too pretty for him." And Jay said, "The only reason he said no is because he doesn't like to go out with people."

Everyone does something different when they're sad. Some people cry, make weird noises, are really quiet. What do I do? I laugh. I smile. I do anything besides what I feel like. During band that day, I was laughing at every single thing that happened. Mr. Norris was passing out music, and Jay couldn't reach it, so Mr. Norris gave it to Serena to give to Jay. Jay still couldn't reach it, so I took it and - stupidly - dropped it. Jay and Serena were laughing but yelling and I burst out laughing like crazy. We started playing a song and Gracie squeaked on her clarinet. What do I do? Burst out laughing. Mr. Norris made us start over.

And, if you can't tell, I'm really in love. ♥ Isn't it obvious?

Oh, and I'm really sad. Because I lost the boat. And Zoe, of all people, asked me if I was going to ask Sevon to the dance (it's on Friday). Why would she even ask that? She knows that he said no when I asked him out not even a week later. Why would he change his mind?

Sure, you can look at my profile and say "I thought you were over him!" Well, guess what? I'm not! There's no way I could ever get over him! Yes, he said no! I don't need him! He doesn't deserve me! But I still want him to like me because I love him more than you can imagine.

Since he said no, I've been avoiding him as much as possible. But, while I'm doing that, I've also been able to see his attempt to remain my friend. And that is just one more reason for me to love him.

All my friends thought he liked me. "The way he looks at you, I can tell." "He was starring at you during your 4-H project." "He said hi to you!" "He never concentrates when he's around you." "He's comfortable touching your stuff." "He was looking at you! I saw it!" "They were talking about you at their table, and he defended you." All those things have been said to me. All my friends thought that it was true, that the guy that I love might like me.

They were wrong.

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