Punching Bag

Sorry, but not really.

Chapter 1

Hey, turn away now if you don't want to listen to rants and rambles, but you're already here, and it already counts as a read, so you might as well read on, my friend.

Um, okay, where to start?

I'm sorry, to all of you, that I have been a horrible friend. Don't even deny it, I'm just a bad person in general and I can't really help myself. I just... I don't even know. I don't even think I did anything to any of you, but I just feel like I've messed up everything so badly. I just feel so bi-polar all the time, and I'm not really sure what's wrong with me, because I'm doing fine in school and I'm getting enough exercise and my parents are nice and my friends haven't started any of their stupid drama and I don't know what's wrong with me and I want to just close my eyes and fall, and fall, and fall, and never hit the ground or wake up, because I don't like reality, I like my little fantasy world where I can fall in love with the most imperfectly perfect little people, and not you guys, not online, in real life, I want you all to be real, but you aren't real, and I'll probably never ever see any of you in real life, and I want to delete my account so badly but I can't because I'm weak and I'm having issues falling asleep at night because my brain just keeps on badgering me, and this is probably the single longest run on sentence you have ever read, but don't you dare correct it in the comments because then I will delete you, and then you will be sad and angry that your Friends List has been depleated by one, one who doesn't even care about you, or about anything she does or says online, or about the people she meets or anything, but you will go ahead and make the biggest deal out of losing one small friend who most likely wasn't even your friend in the first place, but just a number in your line.

And you know what? Ignore me. See if I care, because I don't. I actually do, but I do not, because I didn't ask for anything, I didn't want to grow up to be some stupid, acts-bi-polar-but-probably-isn't, stupid, stupid girl. I won't even be on here in a year or so, I'll have to delete by then, because I'll grow up and have a life and have things to do and places to go and people to see and... Just, please. I'm sorry. I'll only say it once. I'm sorry, but not really.

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