FORGOTTEN
Ok, so i brushed up the grammer-well, tried to. :) Pls share/comment/rate.
She was found on the side of the country road in Australia, with no memory of anything except her first name.
Haunting glimpses of terrifying ordeals flickers in her mind from time to time. Then one particularly disturbing nightmare occurs. So horrible. So vivid. So real.
Maybe it is.
Smitchie embarks on a quest to discover her past. Her choices will have the power to change the world..
The last thing I remember is a bright light shining in my face. Brighter than the sun. Then complete darkness, a comforting hum in my head. Strangely, I feel warm and peaceful. Like in a mother's womb.
I open my eyes. Im lying down in the grass, next to a road.
What am I doing here? It's the first thing that comes to mind.
"I need to go home" I muttered. I pick and dust myself off and starts walking.
Then I realised, Where am I going?
Home.
Where is home?
I don't know.
Where is my family?
I don't know.
Who is my family?
I don't know.
What do I do?
I don't know.
Who am I?
I DON'T KNOW!
What is my name?
Smitchie. That's all I know"
I felt so confused and scared. I don't remember anything. I walk back to my spot and squat down, hugging my knees. A few hours go by, several cars go by and questioning looks go my way.
Before I knew it, the sun's last rays glimmeres on the grass and slowly fades. Darkness creeps in and it starts to get cold. For the first time, i look down at myself. I am wearing a strange dress.
It's beautiful.
Seamless and silky, fusioned with purple, blue and red with no sleeves. But it's not exactly warm. My teeth starts to chatter, my body shaking.
Headlights light up the road and I see an old truck coming. It slows down to a stop beside me, engine groaning. The windows roll down and the driver looks out. He has a warm look about him. Blue eyes, black hair, tanned skin. He looks like he's in his late 20s.
"What 'n earth are ya doing here miss? You'll freeze to death in that dress!" his voice rumbles with an English accent.
"i don't know" I said, frowning.
"what do you mean, you don't know?"
" I don't remember anything!" my voice cracks.
He sighs "Oh wonderful.
Better get 'n, it'll snow at night"
I decide to take my chances with a stranger than the cold. For some reason, I trust him anyway.
So I get in
I open my eyes. Im lying down in the grass, next to a road.
What am I doing here? It's the first thing that comes to mind.
"I need to go home" I muttered. I pick and dust myself off and starts walking.
Then I realised, Where am I going?
Home.
Where is home?
I don't know.
Where is my family?
I don't know.
Who is my family?
I don't know.
What do I do?
I don't know.
Who am I?
I DON'T KNOW!
What is my name?
Smitchie. That's all I know"
I felt so confused and scared. I don't remember anything. I walk back to my spot and squat down, hugging my knees. A few hours go by, several cars go by and questioning looks go my way.
Before I knew it, the sun's last rays glimmeres on the grass and slowly fades. Darkness creeps in and it starts to get cold. For the first time, i look down at myself. I am wearing a strange dress.
It's beautiful.
Seamless and silky, fusioned with purple, blue and red with no sleeves. But it's not exactly warm. My teeth starts to chatter, my body shaking.
Headlights light up the road and I see an old truck coming. It slows down to a stop beside me, engine groaning. The windows roll down and the driver looks out. He has a warm look about him. Blue eyes, black hair, tanned skin. He looks like he's in his late 20s.
"What 'n earth are ya doing here miss? You'll freeze to death in that dress!" his voice rumbles with an English accent.
"i don't know" I said, frowning.
"what do you mean, you don't know?"
" I don't remember anything!" my voice cracks.
He sighs "Oh wonderful.
Better get 'n, it'll snow at night"
I decide to take my chances with a stranger than the cold. For some reason, I trust him anyway.
So I get in
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50 Comments
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When's the next chapter coming?
Lol, im sorry, i know i take ages to update. I had a long draft but accidentally deleted it :L
It'll come this weekend :)
Love you too! IT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I liked chapter 5 the most just because it was the most exciting to me. The other chapters just got increasingly better as I read them :D One thing I would suggest though is that you made the chapters a little longer, but other than that I'm absolutely in love with this story! XD
YES! I wanted it to increasingly get more dramatic. YAY!! :DDD
You're absolutely right. I need to stop being lazy and make the chapters longer. :)
I really love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My favorite chapter is chapter 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!
Thanks liv!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! :DDD Is it? Why, chapter 5 out of curiousity?
What can i improve on?
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really? Thankyou :) but b specific. What parts do u like/dislike.
Ooh, what do u want in the story?!
I'm always a sucker for a happy ending :) but that's me
also it's ok not to have the whole story planned out at one time a lot of other authors wrote their pieces in parts in fact that's how a quite a few of our greatest novels were written. so I'd say keep writing as it comes and don't get stressed if it takes awhile. you're writing is well worth the wait! :)
No, you're great!
Yea sometimes i have writer's block and i dont know what to write next. XD
Yea i understand ;)
I should probably use better grammer though.
Okay, just answer this one for me so i can plan better.
Do you want the story to have a happy ending?
not trying to be frustrating but I really don't know. I think you have a great ideas and a great imagination and I think you are a really good writer. I kinda hate to make any suggestions because what you're doing is already well written and intriguing. I don't want to ruin it or get in the way of your creative flow if that makes any sense. I know that's not very helpful, but I really believe you've got this.
You're welcome. :D
I have added this to my favs :) this is so good I can't stop reading! :D
YAYY!!!! Awesome!!!! Thankyou! xx :)
Do you have any suggestions for me? Even i dont know what is going to happen so do you want me to add an extra something? Love? Friendship? A grudge? A new murder?
The punctuation, capital letters and paragraphs. :) But it's very compelling!
Lol yeah sometimes i cant be bothered. But thanks for your advice actually! Cos i remember feeling kinda annoyed when people misspell stuff or if the writing has crap punctuation