Ways to Annoy the Harry Potter Characters
BEWARE OF SPOILERS. Don't say I didn't warn you...
Yes, I did write it myself, if anyone is wondering. It's 100% my creation. Well, not the characters, but you know what I mean.
I hope you like it, comments are welcome :3
This was originally "50 ways to annoy Ron Weasley (for Chocolatehorse's contest)" but I added more chapters and changed the name. :)
32 Ways To Annoy Hagrid (requested by prettyandunsure)
2) Insult Buckbeak.
3) Quote Rita Skeeter's article about him.
4) Whenever he approaches you, cower and hide.
5) Call him "Grizzly Bear".
6) Tell him that dragons cannot be tamed.
7) Set his hut on fire... again.
8) Put Madame Maxime's panties in his hut.
9) Open the Chamber of Secrets and blame him.
10) Braid his beard.
11) Imitate his accent.
12) Take his pink umbrella.
13) Whenever you see something vicious, say "that's something Hagrid would enjoy!"
14) Ask him if he ate Buckbeak.
15) Mock Grawp.
16) Ask him if he killed Kettleburn or something to get the post of COMC professor.
17) Say that he's so old, he should be dead by now.
18) Ask just how insane his father was.
19) "Borrow" his dragon.
20) Make him take you to see Norberta.
21) Ask whether Norberta had a sex change, and if it's even possible in a dragon.
22) Ask, very stupidly, if the centaurs bred him.
23) Take him to a Muggle doctor. Have various tests and things done on him.
24) Crumble rock cakes into his beard.
25) Blame him as the cause of every earthquake there ever was.
26) and volcano eruptions.
27) Send him to a therapist.
28) Make Umbridge clones to follow him.
29) When he takes the 1st years across the lake, loosen the screws and things in his boat.
30) Turn his beard pink.
31) sing or play the song "Can't Be Tamed" whenever he shows up.
32) Send in an audition for him for Survivor or another survival show.