Just A Little Something

Chapter 1

Peaches aren't Tasty

I don't like peaches, mangos, pears or kiwi's.
I would rather have a plant than the company of an animal or person.
I read, read, read.
I have a skateboard that I actually use.
I play the guitar and keyboard.
I have the worlds biggest sweet tooth.
I don't like spicy foods all that much.
I hate coffee.
I love tea.
Preferably warm.
Bitter things are nasty.
But I love dark chocolate.
Candy is still the best treat ever.
I scream at the television when I play video games.
Mindless violence is fun.
I create creatures and then draw them out.
My imagination runs wild.
I lose my mind in thought more often than not.
I write poetry.
I have a fear of spiders and heights.
But my crippling fear is of people and the dark.
I am socially awkward.
I don't have many friends.
But the ones I do have are a hoot.
I am an American, though I tend to say a few British words here and there.
Music is the most amazing thing in the world.
I love to paint.
I play football, and American football here and there.
I'm a bit underweight.
I don't have a good memory.
There are large blank spots in my memory.
I do not like large animals.
Loud or abrupt sounds and I don't mix well.
My first instinct is to fight, whether I'm actually in danger or not.
I tend to listen to just about any music genre.
I can make things out of duct tape.
I spell the way I want to spell.
Colour feels naked without the 'U' in it.
I tend to name house hold appliances and furniture.
Candles are amazing.
I make up my own words sometimes.
I still play 'The Floor is Lava'.
I use actual grammar when typing or texting.
I don't want to go to college.
I want to move to a different country when I turn eighteen.
I want to start a garden.
I love flowers.
I don't like the sun.
I love the moon.
I don't like walking down my road at night.
I get to paranoid.
I have anxiety from hell.
Sometimes I here and see things I know aren't there.
Cats are cool.
Ferrets are cooler.
Poke'mon and Digimon were better when they were older.
I used to collect Yu-Gi-Oh cards when I was younger.
I have a weird way of acting.
I can be like a little kid.
I tend to act like an adult.
Sometimes I'm just a brooding teenager.
And sometimes I don't know what I am.
I like trying out strange food combinations.
Curly fries are so tasty.
My favorite food is Cream of Broccoli Soup.
I love vegetables.
I dislike beans.
Bacon is the best food ever.
I'm pansexual and I don't really care what you think.
I don't have a good relationship with my family.
I love to write stories.
I love creating my own worlds then exploring them.
I think it's funny when people get hurt sometimes.
I help people a lot more than people think I do.
I'm great with kids.
I don't like it when people walk behind me.
I don't like things that are unfinished.
I don't like ceramic dolls.
I don't like books without a plot.
I love finding a book, figuring out its a series, and that that was the first book in the series.
I tend to not tell people my problems.
I think I'm a burden to my friends.
I have low self-esteem and low self worth issues.
I'm fidgety and jumpy.
I don't like it when people sneak up behind me.
I don't like small places.
I don't like dark places.
I don't like being alone.
I don't like being in a crowded place.
I get sick a lot.
I have strange mood swings.
I love watching any type of movie.
I still use crayons to colour with.
I like climbing trees.
I rarely cry.
I can take a lot of pain.
I plan on getting a tongue ring before the end of '12.
I have small hands.
I have shaky hands.
I'm terrified of needles.
I, of what I can remember, don't have a pleasant past.
I'm short.
Drawing is wonderful.
Like sucks a lot.
I find religion interesting.
Along with the human mind.
I'm afraid of emptiness.
I don't like not remembering things.
I am political.
Pro-Choice.
Pro-Gay Marriage.
Pro-Marijuana legalization.
I say I don't care what people think, but I'm all the time wondering if they think I'm weird.
Sometimes I think my friends hate me.
I wish I was more confident.
Sometimes I hate me.
I don't let my hopes get to high in fear of having them crushed.
I play on the safe side.
I don't like being in or around cars.
Their moving death machines.
I'm dreadfully sarcastic.
I can speak pig latin.
I don't like being told what to do.
I don't like being babied.
I don't like it when people treat me as if I can't do anything.
I rarely do things right.
I like to break things to relieve stress.
I tend to be a masochist at times.
And I can be sadistic, but very, very rarely.
I hate liars.
I don't like being the first one to start a conversation.
I don't talk to my older sibling.
My two younger siblings and I don't speak much either.
I tend to bite of more than I can chew.
Them call myself an idiot for taking on to much.
I am a hypocrite.
But I can admit it.
I blame myself a lot.
I love the rain.
I can't swim.
I hate water unless I can stand up in it.
Sometimes I'm like a chatter box, other times people forget I'm there.
I love reading cause it takes me to another world.
I love reading cause I don't have to be me.
I constantly over think things.
I over react, but I do it in the privacy of my own mind.
I live in my head.
I usually just take insults without even bothering to do anything about it.
I don't really care what happens to myself.
I love mythology and philosophy.
I tend to live with my head in the clouds.
I don't like camping.
But I do love looking at the stars and constellations.
Sometimes I feel as though I've lost my mind.
I don't like it when I feel out of control with my life.
Sometimes I smoke and get high just so I'm grounded later.
I call being 'Grounded' the time when everything seems real. Because normally, in my life, nothing seems real. Like everything's a dream. And when I get high it makes that feeling more heightened, only I don't feel bad about it, I feel really happy. And after coming down from a high I feel like everything is normal for once.
I'm always tired.
I feel hopeless a lot.
I don't like it when I hear things at night.
I don't like it when it feels like I'm about to collapse.
I don't like eating.
I don't like feeling flithy.
I don't like feeling the sun on my flesh.
I don't like living the life I have.
I don't like dealing with the people I'm bound to by blood.
I don't understand people.
No, I don't like being around people.
I'm not anti-social.
I have friends.
I just don't like being in a crowd of people.
Or meeting a stranger for the first time.
The idea of a nursing home aflame is hilarious to me.
I have a weird point system for hitting or breaking things.
Hitting an old lady with your car 50 points.
Hitting a lady and a baby with your car is 150 point.
I have a morbid sense of humor.
I get to carried away.
Sometimes I sleep to much.
Other times I don't sleep at all.
I hate nightmares.
I can't relax around any person.
I am surprisingly compassionate.
Sometimes I wished I could be a florist.
I also want to be a social worker.
I wish I didn't have so many problems.
I'm tired.
I'm always tired.
I'm good at avoiding things.
I sometimes seem to have ADD.
I don't have good eye sight.
I tend to think I'm forgotten a lot.
I'm not used to attention, so when I have it I act weirdly.
I get confused when emotions come into play.
I like libraries.
I don't like having to put up a brave front.
But I don't like feeling weak and vulnerable.
I am usually waiting for something bad to happen.
I don't easily trust people.
Yes, I have trust issues.
I expect to be let down.
I don't think the poems I write are good.
I don't like the way I am.
I don't like the way I act.
I don't like the fact that I act differently around different people.
I don't like my life.
Or the things I do in it.
I usually do what people tell me without complaint.
I don't like being yelled at.
Sometimes I feel like I'm completely losing my mind.
I want to get a job this year so I don't have to spend time with these people.
I don't like my family.
My family doesn't like me.
I was abused when I was younger.
By my older sister.
She hates me.
I hate my family.
I lie when I tell anyone I love them.
I hate the word love.
I think it's a lie.
I hate the feeling of my own skin.
I hate the way it is.
I hate how it's mine.
And that I can never get it off.
I hate how I can never seem to feel clean.
Even after burning my skin in the shower.
Sometimes I take over forty Aspirin.
And I get really sick.
I punch things.
I punch myself.
I don't like the way I look.
I detest myself.
I'm not good at opening up.
This is my way of venting.
I feel sick around adults.
I don't like being around adults.
They scare me.
My friends scare me sometimes.
I'm afraid of a lot of things.
I hate being startled.
I hate being laughed at.
I hate doctors.
I hate sleeping sometimes.
Other times I love it.
Cause it means I don't have to be here as much.
My life isn't that bad.
I'm just emotional.
I have a lot of scars.
And a lot of them were caused by my older sister.
A lot of them were caused by me as well.
I have thought of suicide.
But there are things I want to do before I die.
I want to go to Russia.
And Japan.
And England.
And Canada.
I wish I wasn't me.
Because it would be easier that way.

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