The AWESOME and AMAZING stories and quotes of Artemis101

These are true stories of what happened when I was young, quotes, weird presents and other HILARIOUS stuff :) Tune in and you'll

Chapter 1

And this is the price I pay...why oh why does my life have to be so weird?

Funny and Embarrassing Stories

We where in year 5, 10 and 11 years old, sitting in a circle and talking like we usually did. Me being the awesome self I am started planning pranks and my brother Jack, being the Year 6 idiot he was came and sat down with us. Then he told us that the person who put shaving cream all over the Deputy Principal's car was him and how he'd never been caught. Everyone gasped. Well, we knew it was Jack but that's not the reason why.


Mr Gordan was standing behind him.

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I have a childhood friend/crush/idiot/brothers-best-friend-/weirdo who's name is Jase and last year in maths the teacher decided to go easy on us because term break was coming up. He asked us what the answer to 30 + 39 was for a part of sum.

Jase yelled, "MOUTH WASH!"

This is extremely dirty! If you're under the age of 13, DON'T TELL ANYONE I TOLD YOU!

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Grandma Marie: Going on about some other old lady that is annoying her.

Me: Well that is to bad

Grandma Marie: Eh, She'll die soon anyway.

***
My friend Evelyn and I were talking about death and what was the best way to die. I said, "Wouldn't it be cool to die while being shot in the back?" And she gave me a crazy looked the said, "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

***
Jack
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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Once my other brother Dante had a fight with a girl two years ago in Year 7. This is how it went.

"God Dante! People can have there own opinion you know!?"
"I know that. It's just yours is so stupid it's not applicable!"
"Oh ha ha! How funny! What's your problem anyway?"
"It's not that I hate you or any thing but if you were dying and I had the cure, I'd stand there and laugh."

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World's MOST AMAZING Quotes- by me, my friends and some copy right from the internet!!

Me: Sandy, good friends try to get rid of nightmares but best friends? We cause 'em.

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Random Quote: Enjoy life, there plenty of time to be dead

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Oscar Wilde: Be yourself, everybody else is taken and
: Be nice to your enemies- nothing annoys them so much

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Teenage Quotes: The awkward moment when your mom decides to sit next to you when you're on the computer so you switch the page to Google and stare at the screen aimlessley

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Random Quote: I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having there motives questioned

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Me: When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch in amusement as they ask you how the hell you did it

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My friend Lekha: Forgive but never forget...

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Me: Rose are red, Violets are blue but none of them are as stupid as you (said to my other brother Dante)

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Romeo: 'Starts digging up the grave of a bird at the lifting his leg'
Me: And you named him after a depressed teenager who died in three days... (said to my brother Red)

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The WORST presents EVER!

From my brother Jack: A 'buy one, get one free' voucher that was EXPIRED

Dante: A bar of soap

Old cranky Grand-Aunt: A book titled, "What to expect when you're expecting'. I was 6

Uncle: A picture od some chick I had never seen in my life (WTF?)

and worst till last......

Jase: A broken leg, busted nail, black eye, bleeding lip, grazed knee, in-desperate-need-of-massage neck and a concussion for my 8th birthday when he pushed me out of a tree by accident! Oh, an a nail file.

***



A/N So, did you guys like? Should I write more! Till nest time, ARTEMIS101!! :D

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