Funny Stuff That Isn't Just "Derp"

It may be lists, it may be quotes, whatever it is I love it the most!

Chapter 10

66 Thing To Do At School

1. Walk backwards and when you bump into someone yell, “Watch where you’re going! Geez!”

2. Choose a ‘unique’ teacher and impersonate him/her the whole day.

3. Say everything really loudly.

4. Say everything really softly.

5. Stick ‘Kick Me’ signs signed by yourself all over your back.

6. Pretend to fall asleep and when anyone touches you or talks to you, ‘wake up’ and yell, “Can’t anyone get some decent sleep around here?”

7. Run into walls and apologize to them.

8. Every time you see one of your friends, shout, “Hello!” really loudly from across the room.

9. Walk up to students you don’t know at all and say ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ repeatedly.

10. When the teacher walks out of the room, walk to the board and start ‘teaching’ the class.

11. Say serious things in a sarcastic tone and sarcastic things in a serious tone.

12. Hug your friends randomly and say, “I’m going to miss you sooooo much!” and start bawling loudly.

13. Bring in a metal cup with some change in it and start clanging it around as if you’re a beggar.

14. Hand out detention slips to people you dislike while wearing a band labeled “Detention Monitor” (you know, like hall monitor bands?)

15. Put up school election posters after the election is over.

16. Write a letter to the guidance counselor telling him/her how he/she has caused more problems than he/she has fixed.

17. Tell your teacher that your imaginary friend Bob ate your homework.

18. If there is an empty seat next to you, start whispering and passing notes. When someone asks you what you are doing, tell them that it was Bob’s fault.

19. Gossip about yourself.

20. Gossip about Bob.

21. Tell the teacher that Bob did (insert whatever Bob did here).

22. Keep talking as if you’re talking to the person next to you, and when they answer, scream, “I wasn’t talking to you! Now, Bob, where were we?”

23. Run down the halls.

24. Repeat.

25. Repeat.

26. Yell at yourself, “The halls are not a race track!” Then walk away and pretend nothing happened.

27. Zone out whenever anyone speaks to you.

28. Grin broadly and say, “I didn’t take my medication today!”

29. Act like germs are your worst enemy and when someone informs you that they are everywhere scream, “Ah! Get them off! GET THEM OFF!!!”

30. Act like you’re scared of everything.

31. Bring a straitjacket to school and say, “See? My mommy uses this when she forgets to give me my medication.”

32. Say the word ‘like’ in between like every like word like you like say.

33. Start sneezing and hacking all over the place, wipe your nose, and then say, “It’s (insert made-up illness here). cough Very hack contagious cough”

34. Draw a stick figure and ask your art teacher, “Isn’t it beyootiful?”

35. Make up a word and ask your CA teacher what it means.

36. If you are the teacher’s pet, break some rules and see if you get into trouble.

37. Give a present to your locker and start singing “Happy Birthday” to it.

38. Act like the opposite of your normal self.

39. Apologize for every little thing you do.

40. Have conversations with yourself.

41. Have conversations with Bob.

42. Wear something really formal and when people ask you why you’re wearing it say, “Why? Isn’t it picture day today?”

43. Randomly start banging on a computer and exclaim, “Why won’t this thing work?”

44. Look up words that also mean ‘here’ and say them when your teachers call your name for attendance.

45. Act like the ‘popular’ cliques in your school except exaggerate. i.e. Say, “Oh my gawd! I can’t believe that he said that she said that she said that he said that… (etc.)”

46. Speak in a foreign language all day except in that class.

47. Dance to your classes.

48. Bring a Glad product to school and whenever someone gets mad at you, say, “Don’t get mad! Get Glad!” Then hold up the Glad product.

49. If you know a foreign language that nobody else knows (This is important!) teach the obnoxious jerks in your school ‘curse words’ (well, tell them that) Instead, teach them phrases such as ‘I love you’ and ‘Will you marry me?’ (Unless the only other people who know the language are your friends and won’t tell them, don’t try this)

50. Watch them say those things to each other and laugh hysterically.

51. Pretend you’re in a secret organization and sneak around to your classes.

52. Look up five difficult words in the dictionary and use them as much as you can all day.

53. Randomly shout, “Are we there yet?”

54. Whenever someone of the opposite gender (that you particularly do not like) touches you, scream, “PERVERT!” and run away bawling.

55. Every time someone says something to you, act like you’re deaf and scream, “What?!”

56. Run down the halls screaming, “Bob is coming! BOB IS COMING!”

57. Later on, tell people it was a Social Studies project and since you’re studying the American Revolution…

58. Babble about your latest obsession (bishie, video game, anime, etc.)

59. Randomly hyperventilate.

60. Whack/kick people for being perverted.

61. Scribble everything down in the worst handwriting imaginable.

62. Try to decipher it.

63. Walk up to people having a conversation, laugh really loudly and then walk away.

64. Answer all questions with two words… ‘no comment’

65. Stare at someone and if/when they stare back at you, yell, “Staring is extremely impolite!”

66. Print this out and read it over seven times before you’re sick of it and throw it away.

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