URGENT!!! PLEASE DON'T READ THIS!!!1!!111ONE!!1

...Huh? I thought I told you not to read this? ...Ah well, now that you're here, I might as well tell you what's up...

Chapter 1

My Momma

S-so, my problem is... No, it's too horrible to say...





























...MY MOM JUST ADMITTED HER SEXUAL CRUSH ON PITBULL TO ME AND I WAS LIKE... Wtf? I mean, my mom is like 46 and Pitbull is like 30 and my mom is a psychotic hippy and-just wtf man?
PLEASE HELP!!! I AM THINKING OF THROWING MYSELF OFF A BRIDGE AND/OR HUNTING DOWN THE RAPPER PITBULL AND GETTING A REAL PITBULL TO TEAR HIS THROAT OUT!!!

I'll never see Pitbull in the same light again... This is just so wrong and so many different levels. Please hwelp! D:

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