○Living With The Guilt○

Just a random story that I had thought of a long time ago, but never really got to writing.

Chapter 1

The Party

“Mom, where's my brush?” came Vanessa Knight's voice from under the kitchen table.

“Last time I saw it it was on the couch,” said her mother Susan, folding a bath towel.

“It was?” Vanessa crinkled her nose. “Why in the world would it be there?”

It was more of a rhetorical question, but Susan answered anyway, “You know you and your brush. It could be hanging from the ceiling while you're swearing it was in the bathroom.”

“Well, that time it ''was'' in the bathroom, and Matt decided it would be funny to string it to the ceiling,” Vanessa retorted, referring to her twin brother. “''And'' it was on the bathroom ceiling, so ha!”

Susan rolled her eyes at her daughter. Vanessa was one of those girls that would be so mature one minute and completely juvenile the next, but you couldn't help but love her. The only people that she rarely got along with were the one's her own age. Friends with all the teachers, that was a snap. Buddies with the smaller ones, and even some of the bigger kids, no problem. But put her in with a bunch of fifteen year olds and she'll shut up like a closed book. Her parents couldn't figure it out – was there something wrong with her? Did they raise her the wrong way or something? The doctors reassured Susan and Mike, telling them that this behavior was normal because of her intelligence level. She was mature enough to befriend the teachers, smart enough to get along with the kids that were older than her, and even had enough shrewdness to be able to stoop down to the little kid level and be able to speak with them, even have a conversation with them when the primary teachers couldn't figure out what the hell they were saying. But Susan and Mike knew that there was another reason....

“Oopsy,” Susan said, fishing out the pair of underwear that she had accidentally dropped into the trash can. “I'm gonna have to rewash that one.”

“Mom, are you okay?” Vanessa asked, finally finding her hairbrush under the couch and pulling off a few dust bunnies.

“Yes, dear,” Susan said. “Just thinking.” Vanessa smiled. She knew what it was like to get so absorbed in your thoughts that you didn't know what you were doing. It happened to her frequently.

“Hey, did you ever find that one shirt?” she asked her mother, before she herself zoned out.

“What one shirt? You have like a million of them,” Susan responded, looking down into the basket of clothes she still had in front of her.

“That Gir one,” Vanessa said. “Ooh, there it is.”

“Oh, that one,” Susan said, watching Vanessa pull it out of the basket. “You're going to have to be more specific. You describe every one of your shirts as 'that one shirt' at some time or another.”

“Well, I'm sorry,” Vanessa said, shaking out the black shirt. “I just figure that you pay attention to what I actually say when I say it a billion times before and then stop saying it.”

“That made no sense,” Susan said.

“I know,” Vanessa said, grinning. Then she glanced at the clock. “I gotta go get ready for the party! I only have two hours until Jacob gets here!”

Susan watched her daughter run to her room, shaking her head. Just when she thought that Vanessa was done being girlie, she had to go and do something like that. “Maybe she's bipolar,” Susan mused, folding a pair of jeans.

“Or maybe she's just a teenage girl,” Mike said, coming in from outside.

“What do you know about teenage girls?” Susan asked playfully, her hands on her hips.

“Well, I married one,” Mike grinned, and gave Susan a quick peck on the lips. “Where's the towels? I have to take a shower.”

“But you're not done mowing, are you?” Susan looked out the window.

“It's fixing to rain,” Mike said, grabbing a towel from the kitchen table. “I'll finish tomorrow.”

“I'm sure,” Susan said. “You'll probably wake up and be 'It's too wet right now' or something like that.”

“You know me too well woman.” Mike went into his bedroom, where they had their own bathroom. Susan continued doing laundry, thinking.....

“Oh shiit!” Vanessa cried as a clap of thunder shook the house.

“Are you okay there?” her boyfriend Jacob asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine,” she answered, still holding her hand to her chest. “I just wasn't expecting the thunder, that's all.”

“Hey Vanessa!” Matt called, raising a foaming plastic cup.

“Matt, what are you doing?!” Vanessa shrieked. “Mom said no drinking!”

“Hey!” Matt protested as Vanessa yanked his cup out of his hand. “I was drinking that!”

“I can tell. You reek of alcohol already,” said Vanessa in disgust. “I'm surprised you haven't already passed out on the lawn covered in vomit.”

“What can I say? I can hold my beer,” Matt grinned.

“Ugh, you are the stupidest person I've ever met!” Vanessa turned away from her hurt, drunk brother. He was fifteen, like his sister, but Vanessa knew that drinking before you came of age was a big no-no. No wonder he's so stupid, Vanessa thought. All of that alcohol killing his brain cells. Vanessa looked over at Jacob. He broke off his conversation with some random dude to wave at her. She smiled and waved back.

“Jacob, do you know the Muffin Man?” Vanessa asked him.

“What? Oh yeah,” Jacob recognized her code for “get me the fvck outta here”. “See ya later, Ash,” Jacob said to the guy he had been talking to. Jacob stood up, wrapping his arm around Vanessa's waist.

They pushed their way through the crowd of people at the party, almost knocking a few cups that were identical to Matt's out of their owner's hands.

“Come on,” Jacob said, pulling Vanessa by her hand into the woods beside the house. Vanessa giggled and followed.

“Where are we going?” she asked, ducking under a low hanging branch.

“You'll see,” was all he said, and continued into the woods. They got closer to the heart and farther away from the house. “Here we are,” Jacob said, stopping.

“Ooh,” Vanessa gasped. They reached a clearing, where the moonlight was bathing everything in it silvery glow. There was a gently flowing waterfall, about seven or eight feet high, and colorful flowers surrounding the small pond at the foot of it. “It's beautiful.”

“Just like you,” Jacob said, looking at her. Then he kissed her. Vanessa responded with such enthusiasm that Jacob was almost knocked down.

“You know, people always that you're just like the other guys,” Vanessa said, looking at him. “But I don't believe that.”

“Mm,” was all Jacob said, and kissed her again. Vanessa gasped with the passion of it. She thought she felt something else underneath that, but she swept that thought out of her head. All she knew was the feel of his soft lips, his warm breath, his hair beneath her fingers, and then another feeling, one she had never had before, down in between her thighs. Jacob's cold hand crept up her shirt, and she shivered. Then he slipped her shirt off, and unbuttoned her jeans......

Vanessa and Jacob lay on the soft bed of leaves that had fallen over the past year, covered only by Jacob's jacket.

“I never thought that I would lose my virginity in the middle of the woods,” Vanessa giggled.

“Wait, you were a virgin?” Jacob seemed a bit shocked by this.

“Yeah....” Vanessa trailed off, terrified that she had said the wrong thing.

“I woulda never guessed,” he grinned. “You acted like a natural.”

“Is that a bad thing?” she asked.

“I'm not sure....” They just lay there, enjoying each other's company until they saw the sun creeping up in the distance.

I'm feeling good about this story, but do you think I should continue it? I think I will. I know it contained adult content, and I hope you're not too offended by that. Also, I think I may use this story for my Reading Points winners, for them to use their characters in, and if I do that, then that means this story won't count for Points. Anyway, hope you liked it and will continue to read in the future. Please comment, rate, favor, do whatever you want to! Just don't be hatin.

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