The Weirdest Kid on Earth

The Weirdest Kid on Earth

Written by Sean Burke

Chapter 1

Humpty Dumpty in Rehab

So...
I got sent home from school today.
Big deal.
If it happens twenty more times Nicholas Cage is gonna make my life into a movie.
You're probably wondering why.
Well, it started last night, when I found my brother passed out on the floor with his girlfriend. Apparently, he used his fake ID to get a 12 pack of beer. He and his girl only drank 11 of the bottles, so I took the last for myself. I tried a sip, but it tasted like crap. Naturally, I didn't finish it. Instead, I poured it in the teachers coffee while she went on a bathroom break. Well, she calls them bathroom breaks but we all know she just goes to the boiler room to flirt with the janitor. Anyways, after being inspired by Bart Simpson, I poured most of the can in the coffee. Well, a lot of it. Anyways, by the fifth sip, she was pretty much hammered. Looking back at it,I probably shouldn't have added in the Purell.... but hey, let the good times bowl... or is it let the good times roll. I have no idea, and frankly I don't care very much.

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