Numb

A Poem

Chapter 1

Numb

It's hard to break away,
from the habit I had everyday.
It's hard to just leave it be.
Everyday, it's hard to just be me.

I want it so bad,
I want the numbness I once had
I don't want these feelings at all.
I didn't know how hard I would fall.

In the end they all saw me as crazy.
I don't care, But my sight is getting hazy.
I can't see the right path anymore.
From my hopes and dreams, I tore.
I tried to run away from the things I feel.
I didn't want any of this to even be real.

I scream and shout silently in my head.
The numbness I once felt is gone, no more red.
I want to feel like nothing again.
I wish I got away when I ran.

I am scared, and I am sad.
I don't want to be the me that was mad.
I don't want to fear the person I used to be.
I don't want to have to deal with the real me.

I wish they were gone so I could feel it once more.
The skin and flesh I once tore.
To feel free as the blood falls.
I don't want to hide behind these walls.

I was numb for so long,
Now that I'm not, it almost seems wrong.
I didn't know how it would feel to feel.
I really didn't want to feel so real.

I was so afraid to be the person before.
These scars that you made me bore.
They travel along on my skin and mind.
This razor that I am forever bind.

Please let me have the numbness back.
Please let me put my feelings on the rack.
Put away and forgotten, like they used to be.
Please, I'm afraid, but let me be the old me.
The person I used to be.
The person I used so I could flee,
From this world that didn't want me.

Please, give me the numbness back and let me not feel the pain anymore.

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