Funny (slash) Inspiring (slash) Cool Cat Quotes

Bored... Dammit, I done got no life.

Chapter 1

Numero Uno

Jessie: Prepare for trouble.
James of Team Rocket: And make it double.
Jessie: To protect the world from devastation.
James of Team Rocket: To unite all people within our nation.
Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love.
James of Team Rocket: To extend our reach to the stars above.
Jessie: Jessie.
James of Team Rocket: James.
Jessie: Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light.
James of Team Rocket: Surrender now or prepare to fight.
Meowth: Meowth. That's right.

~

“Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!”
-Effie Trinket

~

“Here’s some advice. Stay alive.”
-Haymitch Abernathy (I have a bracelet that says that... :))

~

"You and a syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why no one lets you make the plans."
-Haymitch.

~

"They named it after me as a joke, which probably means they think I’m a joke. Which might also explain why I wasn’t invited to join the band."
-Jim Povolo (Introducing Jim and the Povolos on the EP Wristband)

~

"Damn that G.L.E.E! They're always making twisted abominations of everything!"
-Joe Walker as Commander Up in Starship

~

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
-Albert Einstein

~

"The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room."
-Unknown

~

"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
-Al McGuire (They wore helmets? THEY'RE GONNA DIE ANYWAY!!)

~

"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
-Steven Wright

~

"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"
-Mitch Hedberg

~

"Tear my heart out, slow roast me over a fire, pull my eyebrows out strand by strand, push pins through my fingernails... do anything to me, anything but a Monday."
-Prabhudoss Samuel

~

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
- Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

~

"When I'm 80 years old and sitting in my rocking chair, I'll be reading Harry Potter. And my family will say to me, 'After all this time?' And I will say, 'Always.'"
-Alan RIckman (I have decided that if you don't get the totally sick nasty reference to Snape/Lily here, you are hereby not my friend)

~

Prince Zuko: You're just a child!
Aang: Well, you're just a teenager.

~

Sokka: [after a pirate captures Aang in a net] What? I'm not good enough to kidnap?
[an identical net snags him]
(Oh, Sokka...)

~

Sokka: [thinks he's an earthbender] Take that, you rock!

~

Prince Zuko: How stupid do you think I am?
Sokka: Pretty stupid.

~

Sokka: Aang, this is my friend Foo-Foo Cuddly-Poops. Foo-Foo Cuddly-Poops, Aang.

~

Sokka: [while hallucinating] Drink cactus juice! It'll quench ya!
[runs around]
Sokka: Nothing's quenchier!
[while doing 'the worm']
Sokka: It's the quenchiest!

~

Fire soldier: "Look, that lemur's earthbending!"
Sokka: "Not the lemur, you idiot. The girl!"

~

Katara: "I'm sorry, Aang."
Aang: "It's okay, Katara. It's not your fault."
Uncle Iroh: "Well, yeah, it kinda is."

~

Sokka: [wearing a Kyoshi warrior uniform] Bravery and honor... I like that.
Aang: [peeks head in door] Hey, Sokka, nice dress!

~

Sokka: It's a giant... mushroom... Maybe it's friendly!
Friendly mushroom! Mushy giant frieeeend...

~

Sokka: OH NO! I knew it was only a matter of time! APPA ATE MOMO! MOMO! I'm coming for ya buddy! (gets in Appa's mouth)
Zuko: Get out of the bisons mouth, Sokka!

~

Boy: Your Zuko costume is pretty good but your scar’s on the wrong side.
[Boy runs off]
Zuko: The scar is not on the wrong side!

~

Sokka: Look I’m sorry I hunted you, but that’s just the natural order of things. Big things eat smaller things, nothing personal. But this time it didn’t work out that way.
[Pause]
Sokka: I admit it, you’re cute. Okay, you convinced me. If I get out of this alive it’s a comically–correct vegetarian existence for me. No meat… even though meat is so tasty.
[Pause as Sokka tries to get himself out. The little creature runs off and brings Sokka an apple]
Sokka: Hey, looks like my karma’s already paying off! That’s okay I got it.
[Sokka pitifully throws his boomerang]
Sokka: Now come back boomerang.

~

Zuko: [Studying a map detailing reported Avatar sightings scattered around] How am I going to find the Avatar, uncle? He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
[Cut to Sokka, looking at a similar map]
Sokka: [to Aang] You have no idea where you're going, do you?
Aang: Well I know it's near water .
Sokka: [flying over the ocean] I guess we're getting close then.

~


Sokka: [guessing Bumi's name] Okay, he's an Earthbender, right? Rocky!
[man coughs]
Sokka: Ya know, because of all the rocks.
[pause]
Katara: Okay, we're going to keep trying, but that is a good backup.

~

WHOA! This is a lot of Avatar stuff.... Oh, well, who doesn't love Avatar: The Last Airbender? LOSERS! Now I'm inspired for my Avatar story... and I really wanna watch more episodes... Ciao!

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