Story Of My Life

Story Of My Life

-Chronic Blondeness
-Perverted Boys
-Gore (possibly...)
-Crazy Children
-Several Different References To Various Things
-Harry Potter
-Weasley Twins
-Blasts From The Past
-Hot British Dudes

Chapter 1

Who's the Old Dude?

Basically, I was gonna wait until I finished Foxface (Which I almost am! Almost.), but I became impatient. So voilà! Here it is! If you were my friend awhile ago, you'll remember my story about me and my friends going to Hogwarts. Good idea, bad story. So I started over! Trust me, I am going to feel stalked...

"Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live, aw, take, take, take it all but you never give!" I sing horribly on purpose to annoy my mother. "I'd catch a grenade for ya! Throw my hand on a blade for ya! I'd jump in front of a train for ya!"

"I want to throw a grenade at Bruno Mars," Mom grumbles. "Is it a Spirit Day?" She looks down at my jeans and Crusader Crazies T-shirt.

"Nah, Crusader Crazies. It's varsity baseball's last home game or something." On Spirit Days at my school, you can wear jeans and a school T-shirt instead of uniform. On Crusader Crazies, you wear jeans and a Crusader Crazies shirt.

Mine is from last year, so it's white with a gold crusader helmet on it. This year's is white and green, I think.

"I HAVE A READING JOURNAL DUE TODAY!" I exclaim as my mom pulls up to my school. "Crap. Well, I guess I'll do it on Harry Potter, then."

Mom sighs. "Do you ever do reading journals?"

"Only if I remember. Bye Mom, love you!" I call as I grab my bookbag and purse. I walk into the building, walking all the terribly long way down the hallways to Mrs. Wheeler's room for English.

As usual, she has us lined up outside while she finishes up doing whatever she does in her room in mornings. I grab my literature book and ignore whatever Caroline and Delayne are talking about. Apparently someone who was now dating someone that they heard about on Facebook.


So I talk to Katie and the other Caroline.  We gripe and moan about how little sleep we got–which is actually largely our faults for staying up so late–before Mrs. Wheeler lets us in.

I plop my bookbag on the ground, grimacing as Warner drops his stuff in the desk behind me. I unpack my bookbag, trying to ignore him. Binder, pencil case, vocal book. …Do I need my other binder?

"How them Braves doin'?" he asks, grinning.

I groan. "Fabulously. Better than whatever dumb team you like."

"I bet they bat as good as you do." And this would be referring to my softball skills, which he often makes fun of.

"Then they'd be hitting home runs left and right, duh!"

I toss my bookbag to the back of the room, and smack the gossip-y Caroline with a Facebook in the back of the head as I pass, grinning. (All right, two friends named Caroline is confusing. So, I'll refer to the crazy, spazzy Caroline as...huh, what a conundrum. I have a nickname for everyone but the Carolines. Laura is Bwitchy, Katie is Katie Delaware, and Carlee is W.U.T. Huh. Wait, I call the gossipy Caroline "Emma" sometimes. Hey, it's her middle name! Okay, from now on, gossipy Caroline = Emma. Curse my friends' similar names!!)

I walk out of the room, all the way back down the hall to the math room with Mrs. Cook. Sixth grade had first period there. Ah, how I love sixth grade!

"I'm here!" I announce.

"Ugh! She's back!" several of the boys groan.

"Hey, that sweater's gray! You're out of dress code!" Kody announces.

I look down at it. "No one cares. It's close enough. I think we should be able to wear neutral."

Chandler, seeing that I'm here, leaps on me. "Cinnamon Bun!" I exclaim, a nickname I gave her during volleyball.


"I don't like you," Caroline says. (Holy shìt! Caroline is a way too common name!) She was Lil' Honey Doodle Punk, but now I'm not sure why she doesn't like me...

"Hi, GraceAnne," Liddy says, smiling a little.

"Hey, Liddy."

"GraceAnne!" Abby exclaims, hugging me around the waist. (Oh yesh. I'm a sixth grader magnet. Be jealous. Be very jealous.)


"Leave!" Ben says, pointing to the door. He's Emma's little brother. (Gah! I'm gonna accidentally use her real name, I can already tell!)

"Fine! Channel One's starting, anyway," I say, pointing to the TV. Sure enough, Jessica Kumari and Justin Finch and all those other retards are smiling at us from the screen.

I stride into English, claiming, "I am one hundred percent on time!" I finish my unfinished homework during Channel One, and tune out the announcements. I don't really pay attention in English, unless she makes us write a short story.

Yes, I am a nerd. I realize it.

Break is boring. It always is. Fifteen minutes of being bored. "Hey, Katie, go to the counter with me so I can buy Cheez-its. I forgot to eat breakfast..."

Katie sighs and waits as I dig out fifty cents and then she geso to the counter with me. "Cheez-its, please!" I say cheerfully, handing the lunch lady my money. She tosses me the bag, and I return to the table.

Emma is talking to Kelly (that one bìtchy girl you always hate, y'know?), Maddie, and Gracie. Caroline is in Laura's lap, trying to guess the password to her phone.

I stick a Cheez-it in my mouth and spit it back out. "I forgot to spit my gum out!" I exclaim, running to the trashcan and dropping it in before eating my Cheez-its.

I'm about halfway through when Mrs. Cook herds us up to the main building. "Laura! You have this class with us!" I exclaim.

"I do! And Math! And Linguistics! And...Bible!"

"UGH!" we yell in perfect unison.

"And Study Hall," she finishes. Science is boring. The only interesting part is when Ms. Gahan tries to draw an airplane or a bird or a guy hitting a baseball. Typically, the bat is taller than the guy, and the baseball is as big the guy's head. Poor stick figure.

I doodle in my notes, wedged between Miko and Austin. Ethan is in the back corner, nearly exploding from not tapping. He has a bit of a bad habit that annoys the rest of the class. Warner and Graham picked up on it.

Anywho, Ms. Gahan told Ethan she'd buy him lunch if he didn't tap for forty days. Not gonna happen...

The bell rings, and I run to my locker, dump my science book in, but don't bother grabbing my history book. Mrs. Weaver's gonna make us write notes, anyway.

I run into her room, yelling, "MRS. WEAVER ARE YOU IN A SUNSHINY MOOD?!"

She ignores me. She figures if she ignores me, I'll leave. Wrong. I stay by her desk until she threatens me with an eraser. Then I giggle with Emma. Tyler is in front of me, Graham behind me.

I don't know why, but Emma seems to like me more during History...I talk so much Mrs. Weaver walks over to my desk and kicks me. (It has happened before, y'know.)

The bell rings, and she tosses our homework at us. Math is next. I used to give Mrs. Cook a hard time by talking, but ever since she moved 'em to the back corner, I just sit in the back and doodle.

At precisely 11:30 I whisper to Laura, "You're here!" (That inside joke was a result of my blondeness.)

"OhEmGee!" she whispers back, smiling.

The bell rings one hour of boredom later, and I collect my stuff, waiting for Laura. "Locker Buddy! Go to my locker with me!"

"That's what I'm for, silly!" she says, giggling.

As we walk toward our lockers, I feel a sharp tug on my bookbag. "Gah! Who is that?" I ask, trying to see.

"Hi," Chandler's voice says.

"Ah! You pesky sixth graders! Laura, get her off! Sixth graders have diseases!" Laura laughs as I literally drag Chandler all the way down the hall. I chuck my math book in my locker, shove Chandler off, and make a mad dash down the hallway and all the way to the lunchroom.

I cut in front of Kennedy, who doesn't notice, and get my Arby's food. Hey, it's good mood food! I grab exactly two honey mustard sauces, get a Cherry Pepsi from the vending machine, and sit almost in the middle of the bench.

I know, I'm OCD.

I drift between the conversation between Caroline, Laura, Katie, and Lauren, and the one between Emma, Delayne, and Carlee. Emma will sometimes go to the other conversation, like me.

We talk about hilarious things, perverted and unperverted alike, and then Laura, Lauren, and I head to Linguistics. Ms. Erni knows, like, no joke, five languages.

But we can't take a language until high school, so we take a language appreciation course. Basically we learn prefixes and suffixes. I'm in the class with the stupid people, like Kelly and Blayne and all them. It's a mix of eighth and seventh graders, basically.

All seventh grade boys, too, considering there's only three seventh grade girls...(Yep. That's how small my school is.)

I got moved across the room from Laura and Lauren. Not because I actually bother to talk in this class–frankly, Ms. Erni scares me, even though she probably isn't even five feet–but because everyone else talks.

So I get stuck in the spitball zone. Ethan and Stephan are the ones who do it. They aim for Victor in front of me and Kelly behind me, but sometimes accidentally hit me. Gross.

I sigh as the bell rings, waiting for Laura, and we walk to Coach T's room.

"I hate Bible," I complain.


"We're such bad people," Laura says, grinning.

I shrug, and whisper, "Orgàsmic dermaTITis dìcks." (Yeah, we have several inside jokes.)

She laughs and we repeat it over and over. I grab my history book (to do homework, duh! Bible is just an extra Study Hall!) and race for the back of the room.

The room is split in half. Guys on one side, girls on the other. I always try to sit in the back next to the split, so I can do homework, without being noticed. I made it, Laura sitting on one side, Tyler on the other.

"Hi, Tyler. Hey, is today Thursday?"

"No, it's Fri—" he stops, realizing his mistake.

I draw a deep breath, and scream, "SEVEN AM WAKIN' UP IN THE MORNIN'!" I continue my beautiful song until Coach T walks in.

"Aw, dang it!" he says, imitating me. Kailee tries, and Warner, and Ethan, and Miko. Kill me. Please.

After the fun part, we take notes on God or something while Coach T lectures. I write them down, then get crack-a-lackin' on History.

What are the differences between Lincoln and Johnson's Ten Percent Plan's and the Congressional Wade-Davis Bill?

I don't care! That was a jillion years ago! I write down some crap answer and continue until the bell rings, and I head to Mrs. Wheeler again for Study Hall.

I finish all of my homework, and look at the clock. Thirty more minutes. The lady at the front desk comes in, saying, "I need some students."

"By all means," Mrs. Wheeler says.

"Let's see...Warner, Miko, Ethan, Tyler, Caroline Kredensor, Caroline Knight, Laura, Kailee, and GraceAnne." Half the class gets up and follows her.

She leads us up to Mr. Collins's office, and I start to get scared. I didn't do anything, did I?

Not that I know of. But instead of Mr. Collins, there's an old man with a long white beard wearing funny robes. He rises, brandishing a long, elegantly carved wand, and greets us.

AHHHH! I was über excited about this! And if anyone from my school read this (except maybe Laura) I'd be super embarrassed! Geena sorta inspired me, so I wrote this silliness instead of the seriousness of the Hunger Games and Foxface! I feel sorta stalked, but...I guess that's my fault. XD

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