One cut too late.
Short story...sort of like a monologue. Im not emo!!! i was just bored and wrote this (: comment and rate?
Itâ€™s not really a decision; itâ€™s more of aâ€¦ necessity now. Not that I regret it, because I donâ€™t. I know itâ€™s what I deserve, and it helps me realize the reality. The reality in which there is nothing, nothing that I can do or say to be good enough. Donâ€™t get me wrong, Iâ€™m not looking to be modelic, or popularâ€¦ I just wanna fit in, you know? To be able to wake up in the morning and know that youâ€™re loved, to know that you have people that care and think about you. To be able to look in the mirror and say â€œyuh know, Iâ€™m alright. Iâ€™m happy with who I amâ€ But no. It canâ€™t be like thatâ€¦it will never be like that. IT started off as just an experiment. A harmless, little slice. But that harmless little slice turned into four jagged cutsâ€¦.and those four jagged cuts? They turned into several deep incisions. Yes it hurt, but it was a good hurtâ€¦a rushâ€¦ I would sit on the floor in my bathroom at night, with my knees tucked into my chest, and my favorite blade pinched in between my thumb and pointer finger. First cut Iâ€™m not good enough. Second cutI will never, ever be good enough. Third cut I will always hurt, I will always be ugly. I like to watch it, the blade slowly severing through my skin, and the blood scuttle to the surface. Haha. Have you ever felt that, that significant revulsion for yourself? That genuine hatred, where the world feels so vast and you feel soâ€¦ trivial? That never-ending torture? I feel it every day. It lives in me. Itâ€™s like cancer. There is no cure.