Troubles of My Life
This isn't what you think it is. Just keep reading....
There's been something nagging at the back of my mind for a while now. This isn't a poem, or a fiction story that I decided to write up. This is what's going on in my life right now. I feel so lonely, despite everyone around me, all my loving and caring friends. I feel as if I walk this life alone, without any help, without a gentle hand to guide me safely on my way. I don't trust my family enough to tell them how I feel. Rather, I don't trust myself enough to trust them with my feelings. My friends probably know more about me than my parents do. Which brings me to how I really feel right now. One of my closest friends, she's....I don't know how to explain it. She's been there for me for as long as I can remember, and is always there to talk to me when I need an open ear or soothing word or two. We've been friends for a while now; we're practically brother and sister. But I think things are starting to change....I think I might be falling for her. I want to tell her everything, but at the same time I hold myself back. What if I'm wrong? What if I simply feel like this because I miss the sensation of being in a relationship? For me to be crushing on someone is definitely an accomplishment for that girl. I've been cheated on, lied to, threatened, used, heartbroken, you name it. Love hasn't exactly favored me a lot in these past few years of my life. I've had tough relationships, with friends, family, and girlfriends. It's hard for me to open up so much to one person to the point that I might actually like them outside of a friendship. I would rather go through more personal heartbreak than watch someone I care for so dearly have her heart broken, whether it be because of me or not. If I do get into a relationship with this girl I might like, and everything dies away, I might just go over the edge. I've seen so many people's hearts broken because of me. More than I would like it. If yet another person became scarred because of me, I don't know if I would ever recover. My depression could become worse. I might resort to cutting like I used to once or twice before. I might even take the last, fatal step and end my life if someone else were to fall victim to heartbreak because of me. That's how bad, how scarred and hurt I am inside. I want to tell this person how I feel so badly, because it all may be true, but at the same time I hold back because I don't want to hurt her. And that in itself is tearing me up on the inside, like a thousand-blade shredder that never ceases to turn and turn and turn. I can't make up my mind. I'm lost. Confused. Hurt. I've known this girl for a while; she knows so much about me, and vice versa. She's like my sister. I don't want to lose that bond we have now. If I can't get my feelings all sorted out, the close friendship we have now might begin to deteriorate. And I don't want to lose yet another wonderful person in my life. I don't know what I would do, and it's literally killing me from the inside out.
If any of you who read this have anything to say, please message me. I can't get through this alone.
If any of you who read this have anything to say, please message me. I can't get through this alone.
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40 Comments
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dude. thats sucks. :(
i dont really know what to say, but, you seriously need to RELAX!!!!! things will get better. time heals all wounds.
-c-I felt him giving me hints about to change is mind about us, I didn't want to hurt him and asked mum for help she helped me and we still remain so close friends, he wanted me to promise himwe will always be friends and that he don't like to say anything stupid to lose me, because what we have is amazing of a friendship, he didn't tell me he had a gf but after she broke up with her he told me I was so sadden about that fact.. but couldn't tell him that, so now we are besties..Msg me if u'd lyk
I Can't Help But To Laugh! Seriously, This Is Like My Life... Exact
But Of Course You Aren't The Same Guy...
My Funny Story Is:
his name is Mayas,, he agreed in talking with me but you know guys... he was heart broken from girls... but he didn't tell me.. but he told me once that he wanted to revenge but when he saw me he said 'i would never be able to hurt her in any way' yeah so, kinda cute- now it been 3years besties. i love that. but see i was all in -I-don't-want a bf typa thing and-c-
aaahahhahah I sprinted down the halls like an Olympic runner good but awwwww how sad was that u watched the car leave.it really sounds like uhh the love of ur life darn it it was like a movie.If something's meant 2 be it will no matter what,u will see her again,nxt time if ur feelings r true 4 her tell her,dont let her leave like that,she sounded like a naughty girl but maybe coz she like u back!! try her u have nothing 2 lose,only 2 win from something like that! MSG if u need help or 2 talk!!
You're only 16, right? As a teenager, usually - when you feel really, really bad about any one thing... (Or in your case...lots o' things!) you feel as if your world is going to collide before your eyes - and that you'll never see life the same way again.
NO, NOT TRUE AT ALL, I TELL YOU. It might be temporary! It's hard I know! But just try telling your family, okay? And don't stress too much about your friend! Just give it some time, and you'll know if you "love her" or if it's just friends<3
im sorry for your current state my freind if you need to you can message me any time you want
wow. you fell for your friends cousin? harsh. i offer you my support though
Im soo sorry! :( I'll try to help!
HUGGLEZ TIME! come on, cheer up! even if u dont get to see her again, at least u can still talk to her. which is worse: never talking to her and never seeing her; or being able to talk to her but not see her? plus, it should all work out in the end if its supposed to.
I'm really sorry about that... but i think you have a better chance with K. try it out with the cousin but i think you'd like an actual relationship better than a phone one :\ i really hope it works out for you :)