Diary of A Dog

Chapter 1

A Normal Day

Dear Diary,
Hello there. My name's Flash. I've never really kept a diary before but I'm not sure if any dog really has. I know you're thinking how can a dog keep a diary? Let's just say I'm smart. So I bet you I should tell you some things about myself. Well, I'm a dog as I said. I have four paws, a tail and a snout. I am what you humans call a black lab. I am 3 years old. My hobbies include digging, chasing squirrls, protecting my home, playing with my human pup, pleasing my people and playing bring back the ball (it's not really my favorite thing to do but it makes my people happy). I am a simple dog. I really only expect fresh food and water twice a day, a pat on the head every once in a while, some time to go outside and a place to rest. I am a 'house pet' as you may say. Still I enjoy being outside as much as the next dog.
The daily routine for me is this:
6:00 Wake up to blaring, ear aching beeping sound. My master rolls over, grumbles and bashes the device making the horrid noise.
6:10 Human mother comes in and shakes my master awake again. My master grumbles and covers his head.
6:20 I am left with the horrid task of getting my master up after the mother fails to. I noise the heavy material over my master until I reach his face. Then I lick him a couple times. My master laughs, streches and raises from the bed.
6:35 Try to get my master's attention from his food to my empty bowl. Also I must strach on the door for him to rememer to let me out.
6:50 I lot of shouting between my master and his mother.
7:00 My master exits the house in a hurry and runs onto a gaint yellow monster which swallows him up. I watch helplessly from the window and barking telling that beast to spit him up.
7:01 Monster gets away and human mother yells at me to be quiet.
7:20 Human mother leaves in a smaller blue monster in front of our huge den.
7:25 Prepare for another long, boring day.
7:45 Watch squirrls from the window. Try to get to them but to no such luck.
8:30 Lap up some watch and a finish off my food.
9:15 Doze on and off.
10:30 Run around the house tossing my toy in the air and then pounce on it.
12:00 Get more water.
1:15 Sleep again.
2:00 Chew on bone.
2:45 Swear I'll go mad if no one ever comes home.
3:00 Big yellow monster returns and spits out my master.
3:02 Wag my tail and yelp joylessly for my master's return.
3:30 Master and I go for a walk outside.
3:45 Pull at leash trying to chase after a squirrl.
4:00 My master stops by to see his other human pup friends. I get to see my dog friends Sasha the Husky and Spot the yappy Bichon.
4:10 Race around the yard, dig, bark at passing dogs and sniff noses with my friends.
4:45 Master and I say goodbye and head back to our den.
5:30 Human mother arrives home. My human pup quickly pulls out some papers and pretends to have been working hard on them.
6:35 Remind my master to fill my bowl.
7:00 Curl up with master on the couch as he stares at the magic picture box.
8:15 Human mother lets me outside to do my bussiness.
9:00 Human mother yells at my master. My master darts into the bathroom, shutting me out.
9:30 Hop in bed with my master and drift off to sleep.
That is a normal day for me. Of course sometimes my master sleeps in later and the blaring sound does not go off. Sometimes my master and I can play the whole day.
Well this was my first entry. Hope to write in you again soon.

Sniffing noses farwell,

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