Makes No Sense-- Should it be that way?

Makes No Sense-- Should it be that way?

I don't think I have to keep repeating myself, to any new reader please read the title before proceeding to read on. Please think of comments about the title and then talk about them either below in a question I may have set up (I'm trying to create the perfect quetion to create so all I'd have to do is re-send it and you tell me what you thought of the newest poem.) Less hastle that. Anywho, enjoy :)

Chapter 1

Makes No Sense--

Sweet... silence that speaks to me louder than the locomotive outside of my stormy window....

Silence, you beckon me to stay...
You then beckon me to stay here for now...
Then ask of me to leave...
When we both know
I can't do that
To see the wonders of this world,
To vanish with you and the sweet winds...
To dance to a never ending beat, to the beat of my breaking heart....

Sweet silence, why doesn't this all make sense?

Why do I cry myself to sleep?
When I know there is no one to hold me-- and tell me--- they're there
Why do I motion myself into the fist fulls of guilt and sorrow?
When this is not my fault...
Or is it...?

To feel the way I do.....
Lead through life with nothing but sadness draped across my shoulders....
Lead through the cold nights, by the sound of yor voice.....
Distant from the edge.....
Distant from theagony....
Or so it should be

Why don't I feel this pain where I should...?
Why do I get the chills when I hear them say my name?
Why do they have this hold on me?
Why!?

I vowed...
I prayed....
And now..
I'm tongue tied, and twisted.....
Afraid to motion myself any further into this eterna conflict.....

Sweet silence... Why doesn't this all make sense?

Why does my heart skip a beat when they say my name?
Why does my heart ache when the thought of them-- picking up the phone enters my mind?
Why...
Why

Why I ask of you....
Why can't anyone tell me?

This haunting has to end,
The pain must cease,
Or I.. will find that the feelings I feel, will cease to exist...
If not reunited with the one I yearn for,
I feel deep down within me...
There is something missing....

I feel I cant say there name aloud without an instant ache entering my heart....
I feel I can't sleep a decent night's sleep without dreaming of them...
I'm falling apart
I feel I can't... Awaken without hearing their voice,
I feel I can't... go through a day... without imagining them always being there....
I feel I can't.....
I just can't live properly.....
It seems so foolish!
But it's all true.

I awake and go to sleep each night feeling there's something driving me away,
When I'm trying to drag myself hands and knees.....
To the foot of them....
Begging me to stay....
It's an instant pain....
And of course...With deep knowledge
"Loneliness is a killer on the heart" (Quote by my best friend Razor9350)
And indeed.....
So is drifting away....
From the hands of life as we knew it,
Into the hands of....
An abyss....

May I fall....
May I break...
May I crawl...
But never shall I scream...
But oh ole sweet silence......

This Makes No Sense
Should it be that way
Or am I....
In a trance.....
Hynotized by the very demons I despise....
Mesmerized.....
So I may for the last time...
Feel a heart break, and turn cold.....
Heartless! And vague.....

Sweet silence
Burry me alive.....
So no one can hear me cry,
Burry me alive,
So no one can hear me cry out their name...
Burry me, deeper than 6....
So that way.....
I may be forsaken, for the last time.......

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