Fairy Tales Gone Wrong

This is going to be like "Rocky and Bullwinkle: Fractured Fairy Tales" But mine are completely made up.

Chapter 1

Mama Bear

Once upon a time, there was a baby bear cub who had a terrible cough. It was so bad he couldn't breath or sleep, and neither could his mother. One day Mama Bear goes to the local forest apothecary. She has to find a cure for this cough.
The apothecary told her, "There is this one flower at the top of the mountain. The giant mountain over there." He gestured to the giant mountain that no animal dared to climb to the top of. "I'd be very careful, I've heard the worst stories from those that survived the trip."
"I will be very careful," Mama Bear replied.
Mama Bear went home and told her son that she would be away to try to fix his cough. She would be back home in a few days.
She started her journey up the mountain. She was walking and walking for hours when she saw this beautiful willow tree. She walked under it and out the other side, but she didn't walk out. When she walked through the other end, she didn't walk out she walked in. She walked faster to the other end, but still she walked in instead of out. She ran this time and still she went back in the tree.
Suddenly, an eerie voice said, "In order to pass the tree, you must face a painful memory."
"What?! Who said that?! Is there some sort of chipmunk up there?" Mama Bear yelled up to the branches.
"No, I'm not a squirrel! I mean, In order to pass the tree, you must face a painful memory."
"What are you talking about?"
Mama Bear was too tired to argue with the mystery voice anymore. She sat down by the trunk and was suddenly hit with a memory. She was standing in the woods looking at a dieing moose. "Oh my! No the hunters, they've got you!" She never wanted to witness her husband's death again. "Honey! You're okay!"
"You sure, I can't feel any thing."
"The hunters missed you."
"Where did you come from? I don't remember you being there a minute ago."
"I came running when I heard the shot, but they missed by a lot."
"That's good, I wouldn't want to leave you and the baby alone."
"We'll be alright."
Then suddenly the picture faded away and Mama Bear was alone under the willow tree, crying.
"Fine, Now that you've faced a painful memory, you may pass the willow tree. Exit that way," The eerie voice said.
Part of the willow branches parted so Mama Bear could get through. She stepped cautiously through the break.
Nothing happened, she simply walked on out. Then, Mama was on her way. She was walking and the sun was directly above her, like the hours she spent in the willow tree had been minutes. She was walking and walking, when she came upon an R.V. She tried to walk passed it, but when she got even with the door, it was like she walked into an invisible wall.
"In order to pass the R.V., you must find the secret key." The eerie voice was back.
"Really, Voice, the same rhyme scheme. Your not very creative."
"I'm not supposed to be. I mean, In order to pass the R.V., you mus find the secret key," the voice boomed. Then it added softly, "The key is inside the R.V."
"Where inside the R.V.?"
"I can't tell you!! It's a SECRET key!"
"Fine, I'll go into the rusty old R.V."
Mama Bear walked into the R.V. She searched for the key, then, using what little she knows about humans, she looked by the wheel and pulled out a key from next to it. She tried the door next to the one she came in from that would lead out on the other side of the invisible wall. No dice, it didn't work. So she looks and looks.
"Come on," she says to herself. "How many hiding spot are there in here?"
She goes to look in the last room. There were two human skeletons in there holding a gigantic key. The key is, like, a foot long. She walked to the door that needed to be unlocked, she held the key up to the door ready to open it when the key turned to dust and flew into the door. The door opens.
"RRRGGGHHH!! How do you keep getting past my trickery?" the voice yelled at her.
"I don't know, they're just easy. You need to make them more difficult."
"Fine, what if I made you eat this whole hazelnut?" A hazelnut dropped from the sky. It was taller than Mama Bear. Now she wasn't a grizzly but she was still really tall.
"That's stupid."
"Fine, what if you had to pass this train." A bullet train passed by.
"No." Mama Bear shook her head.
"What if a dragon--"
"Not on your life."
"How about if you have to hit a grand slam in the seven inning stretch of the World Series?"
"Fine, just rest here while I think of another challenge."
"Okay," Mama Bear laid down. She started to drift to sleep, when she heard a scratching on a tree. She ignored it. She heard the scratching again. This time she got up. "What?" she said groggily.
"Honey, the voice has let me come back."
It was her husband. "Oh, Baby will be so happy to see you," she shouted.
"Well, the voice told me that if I were to stay alive, you would have to abandon Baby."
"You know I can't do that. I love you with all my heart, but I love Baby, too, and he needs me to be there."
"Honey, I think you did the right thing."
His image faded away like key did. "Voice, what are you doing to me?"
Suddenly, it was morning.
She climbed to the top the mountain and saw the mystic flower that would cure her son. She plucked it, but the stem came along. She pulled and pulled and the stem didn't end. So Mama Bear pulled a hack saw of of her pocket. She tried sawing it and broke the saw. She pulled out a chain saw, but that broke, too. She pulled some more and grabbed a branch and started hitting the stem. The branch broke, as well. She realized what she could do.
She pulled the flower all the way down the side. She got to her cave at home and the flower was still attached the the mountain. She waved the magic dust from the flower over her boy and for the first time in his life he had stopped coughing and could breath. She was so happy. Then the flower zoomed back up the mountain.
They went to sleep that night and then Cough Cough Cough Mama Bear had gotten her son's cough.


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