A dozen Roses
This is my first story so please leve me a message on wat u think so i can empr
Chapter 1
Workin at the flower store
i was worken at the flower store on monday when some dude that was about my age started hangen round the store. everytime someone came he would dissapear so i got called out to handle him.
i asked him if he wanted to by some flowers and if not to go away so he came in. as he was orderin he looked so nerves with me hanging arownd it wasnt till the train station that i found out why.........
i asked him if he wanted to by some flowers and if not to go away so he came in. as he was orderin he looked so nerves with me hanging arownd it wasnt till the train station that i found out why.........
30 Comments
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Uhh... Not to sound rude or anything, but I've seen much better writing. I think you guys should not add so many run on sentences, and learn to spell correctly please. I think the story is very fast going, and not too detailed. And again, way too many run on sentences. Please add a bit more punctuation!
how do we add on!?
It's good so far but why did she pass out?
The plot at first was good.. I guess. I liked it !! Then the cat and the spelling sort of lost my interest I think we should work together on a chain story.
its rlly good :) but in my opinion u can have bad grammar/spelling in the intro and stuff but its rlly wierd seeing it when ur reading a story... so none of the stuff i just did :P
i don't like it, it really doesn't make ANY seanse
ok um.. i have a question............. whats with the cat its just a cat i mean nobody would black out because their cat died you need more detail and it needs to be linger chapters but i mean if u fixed that it would be alot better
i think they should spend time together arranging the cats funeral then fall in love and get married and live HAPPY EVA AFTER
Hmmm...
what is this?