#Story 1

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Chapter 12

Wash the guilt away


Lily tried to slow her breathing as she sat. Her sweat had soaked the bed so she lifted the duvet off her and she slipped her legs off the bed. They hung to the side as she shifted her position. Lily placed both her hands by her side and lifted herself up to a standing position realising she had no change of clothes.

Slowly, she walked to the bathroom and saw the blotches of mascara down her face. Thankfully, she saw a packet of fragranced wipes on top of the toilet and pulled a couple out. She wiped her face then placed the (now-black) wipes into the silver bin. It had now sunk in that Peter Hyde was dead, he wasn’t coming back and that this was the first day in many years without him. She broke down in tears as these thoughts surrounded her mind. It was the first day of grieving, and she doubted there would ever be a last.

She peeled each piece of clothing off and turned on the shower so it could warm up. A few minutes later she was standing in it with her head back, crying. She had no soap nor shampoo or conditioner but by standing underneath the water, she felt as if she could temporarily wash her guilt away. Her fingers slid through her head until she bent down to a crouch. Just getting out the shower seemed too much effort.

When she finally got out she dried herself with the provided towels and put the same clothes back on. In her trouser pocket, she found a lipstick and she applied it carefully not going over the edge. For a minute, she seemed like a normal person on a normal day. Lily’s stomach rumbled, and despite the fact she had lost her husband, she found she was rather hungry. This made her feel guilty as if she didn’t deserve to eat when he couldn’t.


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